Friday, January 15, 2010

WWE Superstars Results: 1/14/10

RAW Tag Team Match. The opening match was a Mix-Gendered Tag Team Match set for one fall, the participants: Primo and Gail Kim versus Chavo Guerrero and Jillian Hall. The rules are simple, the men fight the men and the women fight the women. If a man tags in a woman, than the other woman is forced into the match to take on the woman... same rules applies for the men. Primo and Chavo started off the match and then entered the women. Gail Kim, who is a former Women's Champion, is looking to become the new Divas' Champion as she has advanced into the semi-finals of the tournament. The new Divas' Champion will be determined sometime after the Royal Rumble pay-per-view. Jillian Hall, the world's shortest reigning Divas' Champion, was no match for Gail Kim's quick offense, but when she tagged back in Chavo... things got interesting. As Primo was reeling on the mat, Chavo started to taunt Gail Kim, grapping her wrists and pulling her close. Gail used the opportunity to lock in the Eat Defeat maneuver, which is an inverted stomp facebreaker. Primo then rolled up Chavo for the pinfall victory. This mixed tag team was decent, because it gave a young Primo a chance to shine, and Chavo and Jillian to act on their goofy gimmicks.

Masters vs. Carlito. The following RAW match pit the other brother Colon, Carlito, against Chris Masters. For those who have not been watching RAW, Chris Master's entrance theme has changed from "The Masterpiece" to "Overdrive" by Jim Johnston. It's a steady rock beat, which I could see suited better with someone else, but what are you going to do? Carlito, prior to the match, chewed his apple, and spit in the face of Chris Masters. I don't know how smart that was, seeing as Masters decimated Carlito for the act. Chris Masters was more on point for this match, and did NOT waste valuable time with his pectoral dance. Carlito miscalculated a move, which lead to his eventual demise in the unforgiving Master Lock. Chris Masters finally chalks up a victory, and yes... Eve is still by his side.

SmackDown Tag Team Match. SmackDown did not want to let RAW have all the tag team action, so it was Team Delusional Gangstas versus Team Beards. Why have I given them these particular names? Well... Team D.G. has a former southerner resident of North Carolina, Jesse has ditched the tights for some jeans, some bling, and the only corn he deals with is corn rose. As for Jimmy Wang Yang, he's initially an Asian who believes he's a redneck cowboy. Even the great J.B.L. was offended by this persona, but I think we should all be upset over the fact that he wants to referred to as the Asian Redneck Gangsta.... talk about a personality disorder. Honestly, WWE has no idea what they are doing with these two superstars. As for Team Beards, Mike Knox, who won Beard of the Year in WWE Magazine, has a freakishly long beard that he shampoos everyday to keep it clean. And as for his partner, Charlie Haas, once a part of the World's Greatest Tag Team, has fallen off the reservation for some time now. It was said that he wanted to be released from his contract, so what did WWE do? Gave him a raise instead, as long as you stay with the company and I guess grow a beard while you are at it. At first, I thought Daivari had returned to the WWE, but it was just Charlie Haas with a beard. The match saw a better showing of athletic ability from both J and Yang, as their high flying and technical offense is impressive but deeply goes underrated. These two men managed to knock out Knox out of the ring, allowing Wang Yang to strike with the moonsault, that even The Fallen Angel Daniels would be impressed, as he got the winning pinfall over Charlie Haas.

Byron Saxon, Lame. This past Tuesday, Ezekiel Jackson was named the #1 contender for Christian's ECW Title after eliminating Kane to win the ECW Homecoming Showdown. Now, to learn from his mentor/master William Regal, Ezekiel will pin point the weaknesses of Christian. But enough about that, what really stood out of this match was the lackluster commentating of ECW's Bryon Saxton and Josh Matthews. Saxton was the new kid of the block, taking a first crack at commentating for prime-time television, but he has grown stale. Saxton was stale since the first day he walked into the land of the not-so-extreme, but he recently started adopting a heel-gimmick personality while commentating. It's usually how it goes, the commentator roots for the faces, and the color commentators hype up the heels. Yet, Josh and Bryon have no personality, it's like watching two politically correct voices trying to argue in a polite manner. It's hard to believe that Saxton wrestled over on FCW, unless I told you so, well I did. When William Regal was down flat on the canvas as Christian went for a high-risk maneuver, Saxton called it being dazed, while Matthews called it as being laid flat out. Saxton tries to hard to root for the bad guys, but in this PG world of ECW sequel, it's best not to get the kids confused. Honestly, "Just look at him" doesn't quite cut it when explaining why Ezekiel would win the ECW Title. Which, speaking of Jackson, he was ejected from the arena after doing his best Mad Dog impression. Talk about guys that have too much testosterone, Jackson was grunting and growling at Christian. I'm glad the ref pulled him out of the match, he looked as if he were going to bite Christian. Not too long after Jackson made an exit that Christian took control of the match as he avoided the Knee Trembler and Regal Stretch to finally lock in the Killswitch. The question isn't whether or not Christian will retain his title, but how will William Regal react as to his follower capturing a title that he himself could not?

I'm really not too impressed with these 1-hour segments, which is really a compilation of dark matches, tapped just to fill more WWE-TV time. It allows for the mid-carders to actually shine, but how about a new concept? Inter-brand matches? Imagine a C.M. Punk vs. Christian, or a Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder? So that's it for this edition of WWE Superstars, have a good night people.

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