RAW's Guest Host: Verne Troyer (born January 1, 1969) is an American actor and stunt performer. Troyer is notable for his height of 2 ft 8 in (0.81 m), the result of cartilage–hair hypoplasia dwarfism, making him one of the shortest men in the world. He is best known for playing Mini-Me in the Austin Powers series.
Divas Tag Team Match: Divas' Champion, Melina and Gail Kim vs. Maryse and Jillian Hall. This match focused on Melina's anger towards Maryse's sneek attack last week, who compared the Goobley Gooker construct as a Trojan Horse that Melina should have never encountered. Jillian Hall continues to unimpress the fans with her 'wrestling' abilities. Gail Kim continues to act as a filler, and Maryse proves to be the Hogan of the Diva division, a lot of charisma but only a few set moves. Maryse pinned Melina with the French Kiss (DDT), which will put her in line for a future title shot. Justin Roberts almost goofed by announcing, "And the winners is the Diva... Jillian and Marsye!" Nicely done, Roberts, almost announcing the Divas' Champion.
Second Match?: Sheamus vs. Santino Marella. This was not considered an actual match because the bell never rung to official start the match. The #1 contender for John Cena's WWE Championship came to the ring stating that he demanded respect from John Cena, and after throwing him through a table last week, he has no choice. Sheamus has proven his position as the contender by manhandling John Cena. And in 2 weeks, all Sheamus has to do is throw Cena through a table, once more, to be crowned the WWE Champion. His opponent for the night, Santino Marella, was offended that Sheamus didn't mention him. The Milan Miracle started ribbing Sheamus for being jealous of his skin pigments, being a former 2-time Intercontinental champion, and followed up by calling him a lame ass. It shocked me, as it must have others, for Santino to say 'ass' on a PG rated show; but what happened next seemed like WWE's vengeance on those that cuse, a beat down from the Celtic Warrior. Sheamus knocked Marella out with Ramon's Razor Edge, or Crucifixion Powerbomb. He then set up a table and rammed Santino clean through, very hardcore ECW-style. I had serious doubts about Santino, but if one were to get serious heat, then why not destroy everyone's favorite Italian funny man?
Third Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton. As Kofi came down the ramp, he was attacked by Cody Rhodes, then Irish whipped to the steel steps. Kofi tried selling the hit, but he over sold. I couldn't buy that he was really that beat up by a mere trip to the steps. Plus, you would think that after being attacked by Edge at No Way Out 2009, he would be more aware of ambushes down the ramp? Then, from within the ring, Ted DiBiase attacked Kofi. This was truly upsetting, not because Kofi got beat up, but that Orton still relies on Legacy to fight his battles. Randy Orton is too good to need two lackeys to beat up a superstar just climbing the ranks of super stardom. Kofi still wanted to go through the match and fell to the RKO.
Serious Heat Against John Cena. Cena, being Cena, theatrically expressed the war that Sheamus has just started and demanded to take him on one-on-one for the WWE Championship. The crowd went wild, all the Cenation kids were going nuts, until Carlito appeared. This was the worst return strategy I had ever seen. Everyone had forgotten about Carlito, and to see him back at the pinnacle of Cena's big speech, really brought people down. Carlito has been absent from the WWE since Flyod Mayweather knocked him out in a backstage segment. Carlito expressed how he may not like Sheamus, but everyone, including himself, cannot wait for Cena to lose the WWE Title. And this hatred is not just in the RAW locker room, no, no, it expands to the ECW and SmackDown locker rooms. Why, because John Cena is the face of the company, and others, who will most likely never get a chance, are tired of him being the corporate champion. Future legends, Triple H, The Rock, and Stone Cold were all Corporate Champions at one point in their careers, and John Cena is currently following the same path, not like they will ever label him as such. But The Governor has lit a match within the WWE and the locker room is a blazing forest fire waiting for Sheamus to become Champion. John Cena, before Carlito could spit apple, executed the Attitude Adjuster. This is such a stupid name for the move, seeing as Carlito's, or anyone else's, attitude surely did not change towards Cena.
Fourth Match: Mark Henry vs. The Miz. United States Champion, The Miz ribbed RAW's Guest Host, Verne Troyer, beautifully. He insulted Verne's height, his movie choices, and then imitated Fat Bastard, from the Austin Powers series, when Mark Henry walked out. And this is what opened the show to a whole new concept, Where's Henry's Personality? Well, it wasn't in dancing, cause he fell and squashed Jillian Hall. And it's not in rapping, seeing as only a few people started clapping - wow, that rhymed. And as for punishment, Verne set up this match, the only match he called, to get back at Miz for making fun of him and being mean to him. Mark Henry defeated Miz with the World's Strongest Slam. Afterwards, Verne celebrated with the other RAW Divas: Kelly Kelly, Eve, and The Bellas. There was absolutely no pop for this 'celebration.'
Main Event: Triple H vs. Chris Jericho. Have you noticed? DX uses their strongest team member against Jeri-Show's weakest. And what was up with the stipulation? If Triple H lost, next week it would be Jeri-Show vs. Triple H in a handicap match; but, if Jericho lost, it would then be DX vs. Chris Jericho in a handicap match. This was a terrible stipulation, why not have Jeri-Show vs. Shawn Michaels, or DX vs. Big Show if either member lost? And as for their match at TLC, DX are not a faction that ever cared about the tag team titles, it was never their M.O. but to pull pranks and sell merchandise. Jeri-Show prides themselves on being the Unified Tag Team Champions, but H makes a point: Chris Jericho is a SmackDown superstar, and once he loses the title, which grants him access to all three shows, will no longer be allowed to appear on RAW. With the referee distracted, Big Show struck Triple H with the K.O. Punch. He was ejected from the arena, followed by Shawn Michaels, who Superkicked Jericho (unknown to the ref of course). Jericho attempted the Codebreaker, counterfed by an attempted Pedigree, which was countered by an attempted Walls of Jericho. The Game managed to kick free and went for the roll up for the win. Seeing as Triple H lost to Jeff Hardy twice with the roll up, seems Triple H has learned to appreciate it. As per the stip, Chris Jericho will face off against DX in a handicap match.
Final Assessment: This was a terrible edition of RAW, I had high hopes that Verne Troyer would not only be the judge in the Little People's Court case involving DX and Hornswoggle, but issue a small people wrestling match. Hornswoggle and Verne had just one vignette of interaction time, which Verne suggested that he should sue DX for all they're worth. The whole Mark Henry personality push was a wasted effort, and a waste of The Miz's talent. MVP is sadly being misused in this tag team. If WWE wants guest hosts, then it is important to choose people who actually will contribute to making the show better.
RAW's Next Host: Mark Cuban
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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