First Match: CM Punk and Luke Gallows vs. Matt Hardy and R-Truth. The Jeff Hardy: My Life, My Rules DVD is flying off the shelves, why? Because there are people who want to be drugged by a man who will make them believe that they can fly - or so said The Straight-Edge CM Punk while holding the alleged digital video disc collection. Matt Hardy, the brother of Jeff Hardy, came out with R-Truth carrying a duffle bag filled with Jeff Hardy DVDs, passing them to the crowds. CM Punk shouted, "Sell it on eBay!" The past two weeks, R-Truth and Matt Hardy have won separate matches against CM Punk due to Luke's interference with the match. Now, these victims of the Gallows Pole, have teamed up to face off Punk and Gallows in tag team action. Yet, Hardy could not Twist Luke's Fate, nor could Truth Detect Punk's lies. The Veteran, Matt Hardy fell once again to The Twelfth Step, the Gallows Pole for the win. Is Straight-Edge really the way to go? Handicap Match: Jeri-Show vs. Eric Escobar. Despite falling to the Hart Attack and being slapped by his ex-girlfriend, Escobar was relentless in making fun of Vickie this week. The match was originally a one-on-one match against Chris Jericho, who Escobar really had the advantage for some reason, but it was changed into another handicap match with The Big Show added to the list. Jericho was knocked out of the ring when the announcement was made, and what did Escobar do as Show walked down the ring? Exactly what I would have done, Get Jericho back into the ring and go for the cover! Jericho kicked out and brought in Big Show. I thought it would end in two seconds, just like Jericho did to Gaspard last week with the KO Punch, but Show knocked him around the ring, weakening him enough to tag in Jericho. He applied the Walls of Jericho, forcing Escobar to aggressively tap out. And of course, Jericho campaigned, once again, for the TLC match and how they will destroy DX and the DX Army. I wonder when DX will campaign?
Braveheart Face Off. Drew McIntyre came out telling the people that Mr. McMahon personally endorsed him into SmackDown and saw him as the future of the WWE. He claimed that the only thing stopping him from becoming the Intercontinental Champion is John Morrison, who he defeated last week. Then, the bag pipes were playing, and out of no where, John Morrison appeared as William Wallace! He had the blue/white face, the kilt, and the mighty sword. The Shaman of Scottish Lore? spoke in a Grounds Keeper-like scottish accent, totally making fun of McIntyre's culture. Unlike the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus, McIntyre draws his strength from the modern era and does not rely on Scottish Lore to dictate his life. Morrison was hilarious as William Wallace, and did what he came dressed to do, punched McIntyre in the face! This Sunday, John Morrison will defend his title against Drew McIntyre at the TLC PPV. Will The Shaman of Sexy remain champion, or will McMahon's intuition be right?
Third Match: Kane vs. Mike Knox. Last week, Kane defeated Knox with a chokeslam and did so again this week. The difference was, Knox asked for this match because he feels that they are one and the same. Kane said that they are nothing alike and tried choking him. Knox, a kinesiologist, seemed to enjoy the asphyxiation applied by Kane, creating a euphoria in the lungs. It seems as if Kane likes to deal out punishment, while Knox likes to take it - sounds like Mick Foley in any WWF feud.
Fourth Match: Mickie James and Maria vs. Michelle McCool and Layla. I believe we all foresaw this match coming. Last week, after Mickie James became the #1 contender for McCool's Women's Title, was outnumbered by both McCool and Layla, until Maria evened the odds. The sad thing, Maria has about two years more than Layla in the WWE, and she's on the same level of inexperienced wrestling ability as Layla. Believe me, I'm happy that Maria is back and all, but she cannot put on a match to save her life. Hence, when Maria finally became the #1 contender for McCool's Divas' Title, she tapped out in like 2 minutes. When Mickie James was tagged in, McCool tagged out to Layla. Bad idea, seeing as Layla cannot out-wrestle Mickie James in a million years; hence, why McCool lost the match cause Layla was pinned. Speaking of inexperienced women wrestlers, what ever happened to Alicia Fox? Don't forget that this Sunday, Mickie James will face off Michelle McCool for the Women's Title at WWE's TLC PPV.
Street Fight: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio. Why would Rey Mysterio want to be a part of a street fight against The Animal Batista? Why would Rey continue to wrestle when he has a knee that needs surgery? Mysterio is holding off on surgery until after WrestleMania. Why on earth would he do that? It's not like WWE is going to give him the title at the Show of Shows. Mysterio is digging a deep hole for himself, possibly shortening his career by at least... the rest of his life! But if Mysterio wants the crap kicked out of him, then a Street Fight it is! It wasn't much of a fight, Mysterio did everything he could, but Batista would just lift his arm and Mysterio would be flat on his back. Mysterio even executed the 619, but was too small, or Batista too roided out, to have a secure cover on The Animal. Why did Rey Mysterio ask for a Street Fight? Well, if you were small and unable to take down a big guy, wouldn't you want all the foreign objects available at your choosing? Problem is, that big dude also has access to those same foreign objects, so Mysterio would fall to a chair shot to the face - ending the match. After the match, Batista fixed Mysterio's neck inside the fold of the steel chair, and was going for an aerial drop from the top rope, until the lights went out. After two weeks of being humiliated and pummeled by a steel chair, it was time to return the favor, as The Undertaker appeared - standing where Rey layed - and started pummeling Batista. This Sunday, The Undertaker will defend the holy grail against The Animal Batista in a Chairs Match. What exactly is a chairs match? Pretty much a street fight with chairs as your #1 foreign object.
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