Tuesday, December 15, 2009

WWE RAW Presnts The Slammy's 2009; Shawn Michaels Challenges Undertaker One-More -Time at WrestleMania; Bret Hart to Host RAW?

The Slammy Award for "Tag Team of the Year" presented by R-Truth and Jillian Hall. The nominees are: The New Unified Tag Team Champions, D-Generation X; The Former Unified Tag Team Champions, Jeri-Show; Legacy's Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase; or The Hart Dynasty's Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith. And the winner: Jeri-Show! Chris Jericho thanks his former tag team partner Edge for "selfishly" stepping down as his tag team partner, and he thanks himself, because he was smart enough to chose the Big Show as his partner. Chris Jericho challenges DX for the Unified Tag Team Titles as part of their rematch clause.

First Match: Christian, Kane and The Great Khali vs. The Ruthless Roundtable. ECW's lowest rated faction, The Ruthless Roundtable, boast about being the most dominate team in the WWE. What has The Roundtable done? William Regal has failed to capture the ECW Title on three separate occasions; and Kozlov and Jackson cannot even get along, let alone get in line for a tag team title opportunity. The reigning ECW Champion, Christian challenged the Roundtable to a match with two monsters of his own: Kane and The Great Khali. The Punjabi Playboy was on a long leave of absence since Kane destroyed him. How do they patch that bit of grudge history? Well, it's WWE: the moto is not show something long enough and hopefully the fans will forget. Unfortunately for them, I don't forget. Christian made very few tag-ins to the match - do you blame him, he was part of a ladder match just 24 hours ago. The monsters mostly dominated the match, with Khali getting the win over Kozlov with the Punjabi Plunge. They really don't know what to do with these once unstoppable monsters, do they? Also note, that each of these competitors have been a member of the ECW brand at least once within the past 3 years.

The Slammy Award for "Breakout Star of The Year" presented by SmackDown GM, Teddy Long and ECW GM, Tiffany. The nominees are: The New Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre; Abraham Washington; Yoshi Tatsu; or The New WWE Champion, Sheamus. And the winner: The Celtic Warrior, The New WWE Champion, Sheamus! He walked in, with his newly won WWE Championship around his waist, staring down the WWE Universe with a smile on his face because no one believed that he could do it, "Do you take me seriously now?"

Second Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes. You can see the damage Randy Orton's punt inflicted on Kofi Kingston, as he now walks around with a target on his left shoulder. It's amazing the agility that Kofi posses even after being punted in the armpit, a move that has sidelined many superstars for months. Cody Rhodes kept his focus on the left shoulder, but the match was broken up by Ted DiBiase. Evan Bourne came to the aid of Kofi Kingston.

And The Slammy for "Greatest Decision by a RAW Guest Host" invented, presented, and accepted by Dennis Miller. Dennis Miller restarted the match as a tag team match.

Second Match (Restarted): Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. Legacy. Remember, both Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne got their start on ECW, before being drafted to Monday Nights. Not much has been down with Bourne since, unless you count the successful job he's doing at... well, jobbing. Kofi kept DiBiase distracted outside, while Bourne was left with the son of "The American Dream." With the distraction from the outside, Rhodes attempted to go for Cross-Rhodes, but it was countered. Yet, not for one second did I believe Bourne would get the upset, why? Because Bourne is happy just competing in the WWE, so for the rest who are actually their to rise to the top of the mountain, Cody connected with Cross-Rhodes to end the match.

The Slammy Award for "Shocker of the Year" presented by Vickie Guerrero and Santino Marella. The nominees are: Batista turns on Rey Mysterio at WWE Bragging Rights; Randy Orton DDT's Stephanie McMahon and kisses her as Triple H is forced to watch; CM Punk defeats Jeff Hardy in a Steel Cage Match, forcing Jeff to leave the WWE; or Sheamus slams RAW Guest Host Mark Cuban through a table. The winner is: CM Punk for defeating Jeff Hardy.

First Superstar of the Year Tournament Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk. Last year, CM Punk won the Slammy for OMG! Moment of the Year, for cashing in his first MitB on Edge to win his first World Heavyweight Championship - oh, how things have changed in a year. CM Punk is now being awarded for getting rid of the Charismatic Enigma, or Enabler, and has also taken on a cult leader persona. CM Punk, not only turns away from alcohol and drugs, he also seems to be afraid of a razor. The man is pulling a wise prophet look, possibly a false prophet? This is the second time that Cena and Punk duke it out, the first being on the 3-hour RAW Thanksgiving - seems to be a trend, no? John Cena won the match with his second attempt at the STF, forcing Punk to tap out. Then Cena made a heart-warming speech for some reason, about letting the fans down. Well Cena, you did because you failed to take Sheamus seriously. John Cena may have everyone else fooled, but he prides himself on being the face of the company, and to have a newbie like Sheamus, who has only been there for 6 months! Yes John, there are others out there who have not lost sight of why they are there. John Cena's real regret is forgetting why he's in the WWE. He's lost his competitive edge, accepting wins as if per usual. John Cena also vows to never lose another match until be becomes the WWE Champion again! With a speech like that, how is he not going to defeat Randy Orton? Yes, I knew it since then that Cena would face Randy Orton. WWE would never allow a WrestleMania-caliber match to take place on cable network television.

Second Superstar of the Year Tournament Match: Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker. The legendary Phenom has dominated this business for nearly twenty years. His WrestleMania Streak is unmatched, never to be replicated. The Undertaker is a seven-time, and current, World Champion. The Viper built his reputation of destroying legends, and for creating his own stable of second and third generation superstars known as Legacy. Randy Orton has captured both the illustrious WWE and World Heavyweight Championships on more than one occasion. It is no wonder as to why these two were nominated for Superstar of the Year. But only one can grace the stage and be recognized as the best in the business. Randy Orton is no stranger to the unbelievable energy that Undertaker brings into the ring, being one of the victims of the 17-0 streak, and failing to capture the Undisputed Championship at the start of his career. Undertaker may be undefeated at WrestleMania, but Orton has changed since then and, as we saw, a factor that he did not have back then, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The Legacy members distracted Taker on the outside, and the Viper struck with an RKO. The finisher along with the distraction resulted in Undertaker being counted out – Randy Orton advances to face off against John Cena. Undertaker, on the other hand, chokeslammed Orton into the middle of the ring; lesson to be learned, don’t screw over The Undertaker.

The Slammy Award for "Best Match of the Year" presented by Triple H. The nominees are: Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania; John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a "I Quit" Match at Breaking Point; Jeff Hardy vs. Edge in a Ladder Match at Extreme Rules; or Team RAW vs. Team SmackDown at Bragging Rights. The winner is: Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker for their match at WrestleMania! Come on, like any of the other matches paled in comparison? I'm a fan of the Hardy-Edge ladder match, since both are veterans to ladder matches, but nothing can compare to Michaels and Taker. And to throw the Bragging Rights Match, they weren't even trying to pick a match at that point. I'm also a fan of the Orton-Cena rivalry, but the "I Quit" wasn't their best, it was the Iron Man Match! Shawn Michaels accepted the award, noting that he also won the award last year for his WrestleMania match with Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels, knowing that he came up short, also stated a challenge to the Undertaker - WrestleMania, ONE-MORE-TIME! Will we see Michaels-Undertaker at WrestleMania 26? Can they actually recreate a second WrestleMania moment that will live with us forever? If there is a re-match, it is only plausible that Taker's streak would end at 17-1. "It is Hell trying to get to Heaven," those were the words that fueled Shawn in that match, but he didn't exactly reach heaven. In order to end, both Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker, HBK has to win - laying both of these superstars to rest in peace.

Unified Tag Team Championship Match: (C) D-Generation X vs. Jeri-Show. Triple H asks Shawn Michaels to stand behind the referee, and then pushes him over Michaels. The referee called the bell and the match was over. DX lost the match via disqualification, but the titles cannot change hands on a DQ, only by pinfall or submission. What was also a kick in the crotch was that this match was Jericho's obligatory rematch clause for the titles and can no longer contend for them, but more strategically, can no longer be on RAW. If there was a Slammy for "Oh, SNAP!" then DX would have gotten it for this moment. Chris Jericho was escorted out of RAW by SmackDown and ECW superstars all dressed in DX garb. Goodbye, Chris Jericho, the RAW ratings will sure miss you.

The Slammy Award for "RAW Guest Host of the Year" presented by The Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The nominees are: Bob Barker, Seth Green, Shaquille O'Neal, or Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. The winner is: Bob Barker! Personally, Ozzy and Sharon were my favorite hosts, I'm still waiting for mid-January to purchase I Am, Ozzy autobiography. And who can forget Seth Green, the first ever RAW Guest Host, and brought the Divas Bikini Blowout Rumble - King's and my dreams came true that night. As for Shaq, he was my least favorite. If Bob Barker was ten years younger, yes, I'm talking about Happy Gilmore Bob Barker, then yes, I would agree on the decision. McMahon asked RAW Guest Host, Dennis Miller on who he thinks should be a future guest host. Miller responded, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Miller, who has been faltering on his jokes all night, finally had gotten a huge reaction from the RAW audience. McMahon chose not to respond and walked away. Will WWE have Bret Hart guest host on the... well, I dunno, the January 4th episode of RAW, on the same night that Hulk Hogan returns to wrestle on TNA, which moves to live taping on Monday Nights?

The Slammy Award for "Most Extreme Moment of the Year" presented by Carlito, Chris Masters, and Eve Torres. Chris Masters kept interrupting Carltio with his peck dance, which prompted an awesome question from Carlito, "Eve, can you do it as well?" Well, Carlito and the WWE Universe will never know. The nominees are: Kofi Kingston Boom Drops Randy Orton through a table at Madison Square Garden; Big Show throws Cena into a search light at Backlash; Jeff Hardy dives off a 20-foot ladder onto CM Punk at SummerSlam; or Triple H fights Randy Orton at Orton's home, throwing Orton through his front window? And the winner is: Jeff Hardy for diving off a ladder onto CM Punk. Accepting on behalf of Jeffro is his brother, Matthew Moore Hardy. This marks the second year in a row that Jeff Hardy wins the Extreme Moment of the Year, the first being diving off the RAW set 30-feet in the air onto Randy Orton. Jeff Hardy watched the RAW action as he noted on his twitter account "Love & miss You WWE universe.... thanx." My response, "We effin' love you Jeff Hardy! You are not only a 3x World Champion but a 2x Slammy Award winner for Extreme Moment 08-09!!!"

Fifth Match: John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu, and Mark Henry vs. Drew McIntyre, Zack Ryder, and The Miz. Not only is The Miz the United States Champion, but Drew McIntyre is now the Intercontinental Champion. How does it feel for a team comprised of championless superstars going against a team with two? Well, obviously the one without the title will be the one that loses it for his team mates. When Zack Ryder was tagged in, he had the choice of facing Morrison, but he decided on Yoshi Tatsu instead. Well, Tatsu dropped the enziguri kick to win it for their team. Yoshi gets a push on his only night on RAW, good for the happy Japanese man!

The Slammy Award for "Oh My! Moment of the Year" presented by Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas, and Big Dick Johnson. The nominees are: Shawn Michaels superkicks little girl in cafeteria (Monday Night Raw, August); Chris Masters “dancing pecs” with the Osbournes on "Raw's Got Talent;" Michael Cole throws up on Chris Jericho at SD party (Decade of SmackDown special); or Santino Marella accidentally pies Vickie Guerrero in the face (Raw Thanksgiving). The winner is: Michael Cole for upchucking on Jericho! Michael Cole acted like he won the World Series or WrestleMania as he ran up the aisle to accept his award. He thanked his mentor J.R. who is still recovering from his 3rd Palsy attack.

Divas Tag Team Match: Mickie James, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, The Bella Twins, and Melina vs. Michelle McCool, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, and Layla. All the Divas were dressed in evening gowns, how were they expected to compete? Well, all you need is two Divas who were dressed in movable clothing: Mickie James and Rosa will do seeing as they started and closed the match. Mickie gets the pin with the Mick-DDT. Congrats on that pointless filler Divas' match.

The Slammy Award for "Diva of the Year" presented by MVP and Goldust. The nominess are: every Diva! The winner is: Maria! This Slammy was supposedly voted upon by the WWE Universe on WWE.com, but what happened next seemed more than likely that it was staged. Maria accepted her award and thanked all the WWE Universe for believing in her - Then Batista interrupted, and spoke about Screw Job of the Year, and it goes to him because Teddy Long screwed him over in his match with The Undertaker. Batista kept saying, it's not about her, its about me! I was dying, the obvious pun at Taylor Swift and Kanye West definitely got some cool points with me. Some people were upset over Maria winning the Slammy, but in all reality it was a gag. Do we not remember the Miss WrestleMania Award won by Santino Marella, or Santina? WWE uses Divas as part of gags about 90% of the time.

The Final Superstar of the Year Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton. The match was a bit of a let down, but exciting nevertheless. The Orton-Cena feud has been ‘the feud’ of recent WWE history. The feud started in late 2007, as Orton set to rid Cena of his one-year reign as WWE Champion and looked to establish the Age of Orton. Then, in 2008, Orton punted Cena’s father. And then, in 2009, the war raged on in singles, “I Quit,” Hell in a Cell, and, to finally end it all, a One-hour “Anything Goes” Iron Man match. “I Quit” was nominated for match of the year, how about that Iron Man match? Their final match was so entertaining, and the story they told in that match… so you see where this match was a treat, but it was also a disappointment. Cena connected with the Attitude Adjuster, but Orton landed himself near the ropes in order to break the 3-count. Yet a second Attitude was used to secure the win.

The Slammy Award for “Superstar of the Year” won through a tournament. The nominees are: CM Punk, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, and John Cena. The winner, by two hard fought matches, is: John Cena. The former WWE Champion vows to never lose a match until he becomes Champion once more; and that WrestleMania season, for him, starts right now.

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