Showing posts with label Beat the Clock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beat the Clock. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Time Foretold Randy's Next Challenge; "The Masterpiece" Returns

Much controversy surrounds the Triple Threat Match at Night of Champions: Who was Randy Orton tapping out to? Why didn’t the referee ring the bell to Orton submitting? Shouldn’t Orton have been disqualified for the interference of Legacy?

These answers have and will remain buried through the passing of the pay-per-view. The WWE Universe must now look forward to SummerSlam.

To determine Randy Orton’s opponent for SummerSlam, RAW’s Guest Host, Shaquille O’Neal issued a “Beat the Clock” Challenge.

The five challengers chosen to compete in the tournament were Mark Henry, MVP, Triple H, Jack Swagger, and John Cena.

Mary Henry started the tournament against Carlito. One would assume that this would be a quick 1-2-3, but Carlito kept his distance from the World’s Strongest Man. Yet, speed wasn’t enough to avoid Mark Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam – setting the time to beat 6:49.

The next runner up was MVP. He may not have walked out Night of Champions the United States Champion, but this challenge was an opportunity for a shot at the WWE Title. However, after two years, “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters has returned to the WWE, and set to be MVP’s “Clock Challenge” opponent. MVP’s chances of winning were slim since, Masters’ physical appearance resembles that of a Greek god, and his modified full nelson, The Master Lock, is almost unbreakable. Yet, after several attempts to avoid this deadly lock, Masters managed to lock it in - outside of the ring: causing a double count out.

- Since MVP was counted out, he would not advance in the challenge.

The time to beat still remained 6:49, but with Triple H battling Cody Rhodes, it was almost a guarantee that Triple H would advance – key word, ‘almost.’

Prior to the match backstage, Rhodes and DiBiase jumped Triple H from behind and attacked his leg. With this in mind, Rhodes applied the Figure-Four leg lock but Triple H would not submit. As all the momentum shifted over to the Cerebral Assassin, DiBiase climbed the side of the ring – distracting the Game long enough for time to expire. Time would eventually run out as Triple H went for the cover after the Pedigree. Rhodes and DiBiase stopped Triple H from advancing but at a price. Next week, Triple H has issued a handicapped match: Triple H vs. Rhodes and DiBiase – because sometimes you come across a guy, you never should have messed with.

Not really sure what Orton was thinking, because if they stop anyone else from advancing, he would be facing Mark Henry at SummerSlam for the WWE Title – Henry pinned Orton on his first night on RAW, what would stop him from doing it again?

Jack Swagger, exuding the cockiness of a young Orton, was certain that he would advance because he’s bigger, faster, stronger, and younger than the WWE Champion. His opponent was the high flying Evan Bourne – showcasing a new entrance theme and his new WWE Official T-Shirt [Buy Now]. The WWE Creative team is unsure what to do with Bourne – but pinning Jack Swagger within the time to beat seems like a good start. It may not be certain how Bourne will be used, but after pinning the former ECW Champion – things could only go up for Evan “Air” Bourne.

The final Beat the Clock match was John Cena vs. The Miz. Honestly, why not just give Cena the win? Why sit through five matches when it was obvious that The Miz would lose to Cena yet again? The Miz not only failed to run the clock out, but he submitted to the STF. So come SummerSlam, it will be John Cena facing Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Let’s hope that this is not a repeat of No Way Out ’08 – For those who don’t remember, Orton struck the referee to retain the title through disqualification. It was also considered a great waste of Cena’s Royal Rumble winnings.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Shaq Clocks In on Monday Night RAW

This week's guest host is the fifteen-time NBA All-Star, and recognized as the Most Dominate NBA Player of all time, Shaquille O'Neal.

Shaq, immediately feeling comfortable in the squared-circle, announced a "Beat the Clock Challenge" to determine Randy Orton's opponent at Summerslam. The rules for Beat the Clock are simple: Each competitor will have timed matches, and who ever gets the best time will go on to face the WWE Champion. The five competitors are as follows: Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, and John Cena.

Yet, it wouldn't be long until Shaq would be interrupted by One-Half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho. Jericho is a class act and not afraid of anyone as he stood face to chest of the 7'1" NBA All-Star.

"When I heard that the Most Dominate Player in NBA History was hosting RAW, I automatically assumed it was Kobi Bryant" - Chris Jericho

Shaq, in retrospect to an accurate accusation, called him Christina and kissed him on the forehead. Two reactions to this encounter: Either Shaq really loves Chris Jericho; or he's under the impression that the WWE is a Looney Toons Production.

As the action heated up in the ring - aggressively, not romantically - the other half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, The Big Show decided to pay Shaq a visit. One thing you have to respect about Chris Jericho, he may be arrogant, but anyone affliated with him will dress like a champion - as Big Show came out sporting a nice three-piece suit. Shaq humored the WWE Universe by challenging the Big Show to a match - Shaq may have the height, but he cannot go toe-to-toe with the colossal strength of The Big Show. However, Shaq, believing he's gotten the better of the two, issued a main event match: Cryme Tyme versus the Unified Tag Team Champions (Non-Title) with Shaquille O'Neal as the Special Enforcer.

In an interview conducted by Michael Cole, Shaq mentioned that he and Hornswoggle went to high school together, and that Honswoggle's always been hyper. - For some reason I just found this funny. Then after Hornswoggle made a mini-slam dunk, Michael Cole ruins it by saying that was, "Shaq-a-licious." If that wasn't bad enough, Cole had the nerve to show his face in the announcing table after making such a fool of himself.

Shaq was then seen playing scrabble with "The Italian Stallion" - Nope... it's just Santino Marella. Shaq appeared rather calm, seeing as he'll be the enforcer for a tag team match that included the Largest Athlete in the World along with the Best in the World at what he does.

The segment continued with a visit from Cryme Tyme, insuring that they would win because they do what they have to do, because its all about championships, looking good, and that Money-Money - Shaq adds in - Yeah-Yeah! Until Santion Marella, taking over the job of Jesse, or Slam Master J, this show, starts rapping - such a mood killer, but funny.

The main event match was nothing short but zero purpose for Shaq being the enforcer. He enforced nothing! He blatantly interferred with the match by pulling JTG's leg over to Shad for the tag - the ref should've called on it, but who really wants to mess with a 7ft basketball player?

It wasn't until The Big Show disqualified himself after refusing to leave the ring, untagged. He delivered punishment to Cryme Tyme and called Shaq out.

Shaq ripped his WWE Ref shirt and got into the ring - very Hulk Hogan of him.

The two stood face to face - as Big Show went for the chokeslam, people started to get worried - But out of nowhere, Shaq goes for the chokeslam as well. These two giants test each others strengths seeing which one would give out, which one would dominate - until Cryme Tyme ruined the moment and started attacking Show. Then Shaq delievered a clotheline which sent Big Show out of the ring.

And for some reason Shaq ran up the ramp after them - but the broadcast cut after that.

This week was alot better that last. Shaquille O'Neal as the host actually scheduled matches and came out into the ring - unlike ZZ Top who recorded segments for the whole show and came out onto the ramp for a whole two minutes. Shaq is an intimedating guy, unlike the hilariously small sized Seth Green who threw himself into a match alongside Triple H and John Cena against Legacy. Shaq did a good job and I wouldn't mind seeing either him or Seth Green host again in the future.

RAW's Special Guest Host Next Week: Jeremy Piven