RAW Results: 1/18/10

Taker Declines Challenge

After a month of openly challenging The Undertaker for a rematch at WrestleMania, The Deadman made his way to Monday Night RAW in order to deliver his response in person; obviously it was a response that Mr. WreslteMania was not expecting. In his storied WrestleMania career, The Undertaker has fought and laid to rest every opponent that has dared to face him; and even though Shawn Michaels was the closest to breaking the streak... he still failed. The Undertaker has nothing to prove, but if Shawn Michaels wants his rematch, he will have to win this year's Royal Rumble. Shawn Michaels claims that when he does, not only will the streak be broken, but Undertaker's title and soul will belong to him.

Heder-Johnson Impact!

Miami Vice's Don Johnson and Napoleon Dynamite's John Heder guest hosted RAW, so what impact did they have? Well, Santino Marella was dressed up as Don Johnson because he is the President of the I.D.J.F.C., or the Italian Don Johnson Fan Club. And Carlito was found backstage dressed as Napoleon Dynamite. It would have been really great if Primo would have dressed like Pedro, but he hasn't been seen on RAW in months.

As for the celebrities themselves, John Heder made the most of his stay on RAW as he took on a heel persona. Don Johnson, meanwhile, wanted to give the people what they "wanted," DX in the main event; but John Heder introduced two men who would main event tonight's RAW... The Miz and The Big Show. Later on in the program, there was an altercation involving Hornswoggle that forced John Heder to participate in a six-man main event.

Viper Stares Down Sheamus

A few weeks ago, Evan Bourne challenged Sheamus for a contender's match; but since then, that honor has gone to Randy Orton. Evan Bourne didn't have much of a chance until Randy Orton made his way into the arena. Sheamus took his focus out of the match, allowing Bourne to almost get an upset. Sheamus quickly did away with Bourne with the Celtic Cross. Orton, clearly intimidated the WWE Champion who chose to leave the ring. Sheamus is just starting out in the WWE, but Orton is a seasoned veteran. Is Sheamus out of his league?

The Second All-American-American-Challenge

Jack Swagger stated that Santino's victory last week was a fluke and could not happen again. Santino, however, did not choose to face him again, but instead, had a suitable substitute... Mark Henry. If you haven't heard me say it before, I'll say it again, Jack Swagger, despite being a sure-fire main event one day, is stuck as a mid-carder with other mid-carders. Mark Henry is the next person to humiliate the All-American-American by bench pressing him over the ropes.

Cena-Kingston Seek Retribution

Last week, during the Triple Threat Match to determine Sheamus' opponent for the Royal Rumble, it was clear that Rhodes and DiBiase Jr. interfered in order for Orton to pick up the win. This week, John Cena and Kofi Kingston looked to get some much needed payback for Legacy costing them a shot at the WWE Title.

Cena started off the match, but Rhodes and DiBiase Jr. held their ground. When Kofi was tagged in, Legacy did everything possible to keep him from tagging in Mr. WWE. At certain points in the match, it almost seemed as if Legacy were lax about facing Kofi, as if he were not a threat. Well, they should have done away with Kofi because after Cena was tagged in, it was Kofi who would pin Rhodes with a flying cross body after being hit by the Attitude Adjuster. DiBiase Jr. did break Cena's cover, but he rolled out of the way to avoid being taken down by Kingston.

A major pop went out to the victory of Cena-Kingston, but friendship means nothing come the Royal Rumble. As for Legacy, Rhodes seemed bitter towards DiBiase Jr. for letting him take the fall. If this keeps up, they won't have to worry about friendship getting in the way for their Royal Rumble aspirations.

Eve's Phantom Kick

The following match was a Divas' Tag Team Match featuring Eve Torres and Gail Kim versus Alicia Fox and Maryse. The only wrestler in this match was Gail Kim, but sadly, she is downplayed so as not to overshadow the other women. Eve Torres, who has been paired with Chris Masters for the past month, has shown some ring-rust. She attempted a drop kick, and missed. Sure, that's not bad when you miss a move, but when your opponent reacts, then that becomes what is known as a Phantom move. Of course, both opponents quickly got up and executed the spot. Alicia Fox should not have reacted to the phantom kick, because the move never connected. Instead, everyone noticed and was the only thing anyone could think of. However, Eve Torres did get the pin on Alicia Fox, which is great for her, but that Phantom kick still bothers me.

Sheamus Sends a Message

The following match was Randy Orton against Chris Masters w/ Eve Torres. Orton was not deterred by Sheamus' presence at the ramp way, but he did manage to get himself caught in the 3rd attempted Master lock. The Master lock looked to be Orton's demise, but it turned into his salvation as Orton fell towards the ropes, breaking the hold, and striking with the RKO. Sheamus, though, entered the ring unnoticed and struck Orton with a big boot to the face. The audience was actually cheering for Randy Orton, which is a new change of pace seeing as he is a super heel, but the audience despises Sheamus more.

WWE Retaliates Against Ric Flair

The Big Show and The Miz mentioned how they would get John Heder some sweet ring gear; well... what can be more stylish than a knock-off of The Nature Boy's signature ornate fur-lined robe with sequins, sporting the ring name "The Flame."

Since departing from the WWE after his farewell send off at WrestleMania XXIV, Ric Flair has since been seen in ROH, wrestled in Australia in the main event of the Hulkamania Tour, and is currently signed with rival promotion TNA. There is also mention of Ric Flair returning to active wrestling duty in TNA against long-time rival Hulk Hogan. A return to the ring would be a disgrace to the send off that WWE gave him, but Flair has been in financial straits and relies on these paychecks to keep his head above water.

Ric Flair will always be The Man, but, enough is enough Flair, hang up the boots because it is just plain sad. Also, word is going around that AJ Styles will become the new protégé of Ric Flair, Styles has risen to the top without Flair and doesn't need him now.

The Flame is Extinguished

After a few rounds of weakening the opposition, the newly devised team of Miz and Show tagged in "The Flame" John Heder to take on Hornswoggle. Heder took off his robe, showing a paler complexion than Sheamus, and kicked around Hornswoggle, until Triple-H made his way in and knocked him out. Then a superkick by Shawn Michaels knocked out the Big Show to be laid out on top of Header. Then Hornswoggle was tagged in to strike with the tadpole splash followed by a cover on Header for the pin fall victory.

Triple-H's Message to Shawn

In two weeks, 30 participants will enter, but only one will leave with a World Title Shot at WrestleMania. What Triple-H has been trying to tell Michaels all night is that he needs to find another way to take on The Undertaker, because he's going to win the Rumble. Do I sense a disband of D-Generation-X? I believe so.

RAW Results: 1/11/10

Mike Tyson Returns. Last week, the WWE Universe chanted "You Screwed, Bret," yet, this week the crowds chanted "You Screwed, Shawn." Mike Tyson, in 1998, joined forces with D-Generation X after a dispute with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. At WrestleMania of that same year, Mike Tyson changed sides and punched out Shawn Michaels allowing Stone Cold to go for the win. Known as the Iconic Baddest Man on the Planet, Mike Tyson was stared down by WWE Champion Sheamus, who feels he is the most feared champion in the world. But after Tyson made him flinch, Sheamus wasn't strutting around so high and mighty. This was uncanny that Mr. McMahon would allow the top champion of his company to be humiliated by a guest host; because flinching is a sign of weakness and casts a bad light on the WWE. Mike Tyson, who has a worst lisp than Jack Swagger, issued a triple threat match to determine Sheamus' opponent at the Royal Rumble; and, in addition, chose to team up with Chris Jericho to take on Shawn Michaels and Triple-H. And if Jericho and Tyson defeat DX, then Jericho will be allowed to venture into any WWE show he wishes.

Third Contender in Divas' Tournament. The opening match was another Divas' Championship First-Round Tournament Match to determine the new Divas' Champion. So far Maryse and Gail Kim have advanced, so two more first round contenders must place to make it to the semi-finals. The match was Kelly-Kelly against Alicia Fox, in another terrible display of women's wrestling. The two are very beautiful women, which is the only reason that they are even here, but as far as wrestling is concerned, they might as well hold up Round signs at boxing events. Kelly-Kelly, sporting zebra wrestling attire, has not had any luck in capturing gold, and this tournament did not help. Kelly-Kelly did manage a hurricanrana, but Alicia Fox executed, what looked like, an accidental power-bomb for the win.

Legacy Determined for Glory. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. stated that they helped Randy Orton win the Royal Rumble last year, but this year one of them would win. Of course, the decision was split as t0 who would exactly win... but in 1994, both Lex Lugar and Bret Hart won the Rumble, so it is possible for both Rhodes and DiBiase to leave the Royal Rumble as winners. Their match was against Mark Henry and Evan Bourne. As for Evan Bourne, he has qualified for the ECW Homecoming showdown on ECW to determine Christian's opponent for the Royal Rumble. At this point in their career, Rhodes and DiBiase Jr. have established themselves within the company and no longer needs the backing of Randy Orton. However, in order to advance further, they will need to wrestle wrestlers of higher caliber rather than always facing Bourne and Henry. DiBiase is the closest into reaching that level by once facing Randy Orton in a WWE Championship match back in the summer. As for the match, DiBiase Jr. saved Rhodes from a potential Shooting Star Press and took out Mark Henry, leaving Rhodes to connect with Cross-Rhodes to pin Evan Bourne.

The All-American-American-Challenge. Jack Swagger, the candidate for future champion, has vowed that he will win the Royal Rumble and go on to main event WrestleMania. This would be Swagger's first Rumble, seeing as how last year he successfully defended the ECW Champion against the man he won it from, Matt Hardy. But after being tossed over the rope by Santino Marella tonight, Jack Swagger will have to think twice about his strategy come January 31st.

The Viper Contends Against The Celtic Warrior. At the start of the program, Kofi Kingston made it clear that despite losing to Orton last week, he was determined to make his way into the WWE Title scene, as he cannot wait until an opportunity is granted, he must take it. John Cena defeated Sheamus two weeks ago in his WWE Championship rematch, but it was due to disqualification so the titles could not switch hands. Sheamus refuses to grant him another title shot, but Mike Tyson is in charge and says that Cena will be a part of this Triple Threat Match. Randy Orton, after weeks of demanding a title match, can now contend for the title. At Bragging Rights, his loss to John Cena banned Orton from any future title matches as long as Cena was the WWE Champion, but at TLC Cena lost to Sheamus, thus, breaking the ban. Randy Orton had his work cut out for him in this match since he has feuded with both John Cena and Kofi Kingston, so obviously their was a double team on Orton. Shades of WrestleMania XXIV presented itself when Cena had Kofi in the STF, but Orton should've gone for the punt to the head of Cena to secure the win, but instead he just broke the hold. Kofi did manage to connect with the Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise Kick on John Cena, but he rolled out of the ring. Yet, Legacy was not far behind, as Rhodes kicked the steel steps into John Cena and DiBiase knocked down Kofi to allow an RKO to secure a win. So at the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton will face off against Sheamus for the WWE Championship.

The Miz Evolves as a Superstar. The Miz has gone for years opening his big mouth and getting himself into serious troubles, most recently being banned from RAW after losing to John Cena, but after becoming the United States Champion, things changed for The Miz. No longer considered that guy from the reality show, The Miz has evolved into a first class superstar, and the biggest evidence to date was his amazing promo against #1 contender Montel Vontavious Porter. He channeled his experiences in the early stages of his career, how no one would welcome him to the locker room and how JBL would make fun of him. Miz has truly become his own man, and MVP, finally, is taking this United States Title Match seriously. Before, The Miz has defended his title twice against MVP, but this time seems different. MVP has learned from his mistakes, from his time in prison, and has worked his way to the top to be respected by the people. MVP and Miz will have a classic match on their hands when the time comes.

Fourth Contender in Divas' Tournament. The following match was the final Divas' Championship First-Round Tournament Match to determine the new Divas' Champion. The final match was Eve Torres against the former ECW resident Katie Lee Burchill. According to Michael Cole, Katie and Paul Burchill have been signed onto RAW. The match had a few quick pinning combinations, but in the end Eve left the winner. Starting next week the semi-finals will begin with Eve Torres facing off against Maryse, and Alicia Fox taking on Gail Kim. The winners of those two matches will meet in the final round to crown the new Divas' Champion.

Bret, No Chance in Hell. McMahon addressed his actions from last week, and he is not sorry for kicking Bret Hart in the gut. Twelve years ago, Bret Hart spat on Mr. McMahon, and then punched him back stage; so, as far as Mr. McMahon is concerned, there is no closer when it comes to Bret Hart.

Mike Tyson Changes Sides, Again. Chris Jericho has been trying to get back on RAW ever since losing his Unified Tag Team Titles against DX at TLC. Jericho has failed on two separate occasions in recapturing the titles and devised a plan with Mike Tyson to be granted immunity in showcasing every show. Well, much like WrestleMania, Mike Tyson screwed over Shawn Michaels over, this time, Mike Tyson screwed over Chris Jericho. With a distraction from Hornswoggle, Mike Tyson revealed a DX shirt underneath his black shirt and delivered a knock out punch to Chris Jericho. Mike clearly makes amends with Shawn Michaels and we lay this to rest.

WrestleMania Challenge. Before his match, Shawn Michaels demanded that next week, The Undertaker give an answer to his challenge. What will Undertaker say? Next week we find out.

RAW Results: 12/28/09

Timbaland is Bland. The American Grammy Award-winning record producer/rapper stayed behind the scenes throughout the majority of the show. Timbaland is no stranger to the WWE since, on April 20, 2007, he recruited Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Layla, and former divas Torrie Wilson, Brooke, and Ashley Massaro to be filmed in his video, "Throw It on Me" featuring The Hives. But this time around, Timbaland was seen talking to the Bellas and Gail Kim, and the occasional Josh Matthews or enthusiastic superstar. Tim was promoting his new album Shock Value II, and having the divas lazily dance to the mellow tracks. The most Timbaland did was announce John Cena and Sheamus for the start of the WWE Championship main event but was not seen afterwards. Overall, Timbaland did not make an impression whatsoever. McMahon should be contracting former WWE superstars, instead of these celebrities, because they know how the business works.

Cena demands Tables Rematch. Former WWE Champion John Cena recaps how Sheamus became the WWE Champion by setting up a table adjacent to the turnbuckle. Cena, still not taking the champ seriously, demanded an immediate Tables Match as his rematch for the WWE Title. The Celtic Warrior declined and declared that it would occur at the end of the night in a regular wrestling match. Sheamus stated the reason for this is to prove that he can beat Cena in a non-stipulation match, and once he does... he would hold the WWE Title over Cena's body as the final image that the RAW audience would see in 2009.

Legacy faced with crossroads. After a year and a half, Randy Orton contemplated breaking up Legacy. This train of thought started last week when Legacy lost to Kingston, Bourne and Henry, a group of individuals who have never teamed together. Questions of the success rate soon followed, since Orton is not the WWE Champion nor Rhodes and DiBiase the Unified Tag Team Champions. Orton then issued each member to face off against a member from the team they lost to, to test whether or not Legacy would endure.

DiBiase and Rhodes reinstated. The first challenge issued by Orton was Ted DiBiase against Evan Bourne. It is no secret that DiBiase respects Orton, but he also resents him. At times, DiBiase wants to impress Orton, but he also wants to surpass him. Last week, Bourne showed some improvement, but also fell short when he exhausted all his high flying in a short amount of time. Another weakness of Bourne is his constant dependance on his high knee lifts and kicks; instead, he should be issuing more grapple holds to render the oponent for a move like Shooting Star Press. DiBiase kept Bourne grounded with a number of chin locks, a suplex, and finishing it off with Dream Street.

The second challenge was Cody Rhodes against Mark Henry. About a year ago, when Mark Henry was dominating the land of extreme as the ECW Champion, Cody Rhodes would not have had a chance, but now, it seemed like an easy feat. The reason for this is Mark Henry's weight. The man is close to pulling 400lbs, a lot for a man to lug around. He hasn't weight lifted since 2002, and since then he has suffered quadricep and knee injuries. Mark Henry walks around with two knee braces, which gave Cody a good target. Henry's endurance in the ring is terrible and he looked winded after two minutes. Mark Henry should take a leave of absence and shed about 150lbs, much like Big Show did between 2007-2008. Cody Rhodes took advantage of the deteriating health and knees of the once World's Strongest Man for the 3 count. And as a result of DiBiase and Rhodes winning their matches, Legacy will still be around after the New Year.

Ditzy Divas. The final RAW divas match for 2009 was a contest between Kelly Kelly and Maryse. Last week, Kelly Kelly pinned Maryse, with the assist from Divas' Champion Melina, in the Santa's Little Helper's Match; and this week, Maryse looked to rectify the situation. Kelly Kelly displayed confidence in the ring, connecting with drop kicks, cross bodies, and takedowns. Kelly's weakness is the Kelly Killer... it's killing her matches. It's not a credible move, who waits at the turnbuckle long enough for her to handspring across the ring to execute an elbow smash? Dodging the Kelly Killer, Maryse managed to apply French Kiss, thus ending the match.

“Only good things can happen.” Ever since Dennis Miller suggested Bret “The Hitman” Hart guest host RAW, the WWE Universe has been overzealous of the possibility that Canada’s favorite son, absent for twelve years, would finally make his triumphant return home to the WWE. Vince McMahon, no doubt anti-Hart, stated that Bret Hart would never guest host Monday Night RAW. Then enter the Heart Break Kid, the man who carried out the hit on The Hitman in the infamous – real life – Montreal Screw job. Shawn and Bret had an intense, well documented, rivalry on-and-off screen, culminating in Bret disgraced in the Molson Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada; but when Michaels mentioned to McMahon that there are some rivalries that are bigger than this business, he wasn't talking about Bret. Shawn Michaels believes that he can end The Undertaker’s Streak, and demanded a rematch at WrestleMania. McMahon did not consent, but he did, however, announce that Bret Hart would indeed guest host. Why did he agree to this? Could it be that TNA will be going up against RAW next week with Hulk Hogan as their main powerhouse superstar? Or can it be, as Michaels said, it’s time for McMahon to get closure...?

Kingston mid-carder or superstar? Timbaland issued a match between Kofi Kingston and The Miz, with the promise of the match culminating to a U.S. Championship Match next week. Kingston seemed content with getting another shot at the mid-card title. MVP, who was present in the room, imposed a rematch for the U.S. Title if Kofi were to come out the victor, since, originally, Kofi defeated MVP for the strap. The current United States Champion The Miz found the whole matter humorous because Kofi, in Miz's opinion, will never become the United States Champion. Timbaland changed the stipulation for the night, if Kofi defeats Miz then the title match would occur, not next week but, immediately after the match. The contest between Miz and Kofi ended abruptly as Miz attempted a high-risk maneuver that found him Troubled in Paradise. The title match, that occurred right after, saw Kingston connect with Trouble in Paradise for the second time that evening. However, the referee was unable to call the 3-count being that Randy Orton pulled him out of the ring in order to assault Kingston. The onslaught resulted in a nasty RKO on to the concrete. So, is Kofi Kingston still a mid-carder? The Miz became the United States Champion by defeating Kofi Kingston several months ago, but tonight, Kofi was on a different level than The Miz. Warrant that, earlier in the evening, DiBiase and Rhodes defeated Evan Bourne and Mark Henry in an effort to prove that the team of Bourne, Henry, and Kofi are no match to Legacy, but it was Kofi who pinned DiBiase last week; hence, why Kofi's team was able to overcome Legacy. Because of his feud with Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston is escalating past the mid-card but not quite a headliner.

Jericho, move on. Through out the program Chris Jericho was seen protesting and petitioning outside the arena in Hartford, Connecticut, trying to get signatures for him to be featured on RAW. Chris Jericho, drafted over to SmackDown in the 2009 draft, has wrestled on the two main brands for months due to his liberties as one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions. But after losing both the TLC Match and the rematch, it is time to move on. Chris Jericho, for the most part, transcends the WWE and would benefit the business if he were to appear on all three shows, but things cannot stay the same forever. Jericho claimed he was doing this for Big Show, but he just wants to be on RAW. Nothing against SmackDown, since it does have the better wrestlers, but RAW has been the top tier program for the WWE for the past sixteen years; and any wrestler would want to wrestle on the top brand. In a close emotional scene between two former tag team partners, Big Show conveyed that he had found someone else. And that someone else was Chavo Guerrero, who teamed with Show to take on D-Generation X in a losing effort. Chris Jericho, who was present as a ticket holder during the match, jumped over the barricade to the aid of his former tag team partner. Triple H announced that next week, Jeri-Show would get another crack at the titles, with the promise that after they lose Jericho is never allowed on RAW - "never... EEEEEVVVERRR Againe...."

Sheamus on top of the WWE mountain. The WWE Championship Match where many believed would be Cena's night ended in disqualification. The WWE Champion Sheamus proves why he is at the top of the mountain because he is able to scout and counter Cena's moves. John Cena matches are a set formula, he builds momentum and he hits with the running bulldog... followed by the 5-knuckle shuffle... a few open fist punches... maybe a top rope leg drop... eventually going into an STF or an Attitude Adjuster. At the start of the match, Sheamus managed to knock Cena in mid-running bulldog. And to futher testify Sheamus' in-ring prowess, he dominated Cena by thrashing his back with a series of punches. The match would have ended with John Cena the WWE Champion, but thanks to Sheamus grabbing on to the referee's shirt during the Attitude Adjustment, that did not occur. Trying to build momentum to the next encounter, Cena ran up the ramp and grabbed Sheamus and tossed him back in the ring. Every time Cena does this, he rolls back into the ring to connect with the Attitude Adjuster, but instead, Sheamus delivered a boot to the face as soon as Cena entered. Sheamus shocked the WWE Universe, and if that did not get the attention of John Cena, then a second boot to the face sure did. Sheamus might not have won the match as he wanted, but he did manage to retain his title and appear, holding the championship, as the final image on RAW 2009.

RAW Results: 12/21/09

Johnny Damon Strikes Out. Formerly on the New York Yankees, this free agent knew less how the wrestling business worked than Dennis Miller. WWE announcer, Justin Roberts, announced two-time MLB World Series Champion Johnny Damon to a jeering Tampa audience. He tried to play it cool by stating his past accomplishments with the Yankees and Red Sox, but he came off as insolent. After issuing a foreseeable Santa's Little Helpers Divas' Match, Damon stayed away from the ring throughout the rest of the night. Instead, he appeared in a series of back stage scenes involving Santa Clauses advising wrestling matches, and one undesirable makeout session with Santa's oldest helper, Mae Young. If not for the holiday gimmicks, Johnny Damon's lack of charisma would have been apparent.

RAW Divas are cute, not athletes. The opening match was a Six-Diva Santa’s Little Helper Tag Team Match, involving: Divas' Champion Melina, Kelly Kelly, and Gail Kim against Maryse, Alicia Fox, and Jillian Hall. There is very little intergrity left when it comes to the women of the WWE, and chances are, they know it too. Melina, who in the past year, has improved immensly after her feuds with Mickie James and Beth Phoenix, stands alone as RAW's only competitor. Gail Kim, a former WWE Women's Champion, and headliner/champion of the TNA Knockout division, returned to the WWE last summer as a mid-carder. Gail Kim's status has not changed, as her role is still to carry the match and then lose at the last minute. WWE should utlize Gail Kim instead of having her job to the likes of Alicia and Maryse. Kelly Kelly, nicknamed Barbie, was actually a model who the WWE insisted should join pro-wrestling. This suggests that WWE is focused on looks rather than athleticism. Jerry Lawler, unknowingly, demeaned Kelly Kelly's offensive strike, "She did a drop kick!" Even the announcers are shocked when a diva actually shows some sign of athletic offense. Thanks to the assist from Melina, Kelly Kelly scored the pinfall on Maryse.

Evan Bourne, most underrated superstar of 2009. This Six-Man Tag Team Match featured Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry & Evan Bourne against Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase. This was one of those matches where the years of watching these superstars grow into formiable opponents really pays off; Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and Evan Bourne were among these opponents. Yet, Evan Bourne is among the most underrated superstar - and not just in the WWE - but throughout his whole pro-wrestling career. Since arriving in WWE in late 2008, on the ECW brand, Bourne became an instant fan favorite, even winning a Slammy for Best Finishing Maneuver of 2008. However, that's about all Bourne has accomplished and the reason for this is his fast paced, high octane style of wrestling is short lived. When tagged in, Bourne was able to jump over the ropes, perform a hurricanrana on Rhodes, knock out Orton and DiBiase out of the corner with one kick, and set Rhodes up for the Shooting Star Press - all in under three minutes. What happens when that doesn't get the job done? This is why Bourne jobs to everyone because he is flashy, but cannot last in a full match. His matt wrestling skills is below par, and unless he faces off against another high flyer, Bourne will always be at a disadvantage. Luckily, Kofi Kingston was tagged in and picked up the win after executing Trouble in Paradise to the back of DiBiase's head.

Jack Swagger is the Future. The next match was John Cena vs. Jack Swagger. Unlike Sheamus who uses brute force to intimidate his opponents, Jack Swagger combines his 6'5" stature and his All-American wrestling background to takedown the competition. His opponent for the night was no stranger to Swagger seeing as these two fought in a Champions vs. Champions match during the 2009 Draft picks. John Cena, who has vowed to never lose a match until he reclaims the WWE Title, did not have it easy against the Perry Oklahoman. Jack Swagger dominated the match, not just in keeping John Cena down on his knees, because he is the better wrestler. Correction, Jack Swagger is a wrestler with charisma, while John Cena makes up for his lack of wrestling with more charisma than anyone else. Jack Swagger, in four months in the WWE, became the ECW Champion - all for what? To become a mid-carder on Monday Night RAW. Much like everyone else, it was thrilling to see Sheamus defeat John Cena for the WWE Championship, but honestly, it was too much too soon. Despite being the one to take the WWE Title, Sheamus and Cena really have no back story. Swagger, on the other hand, has the ability to rise up the ranks of the WWE and truly become the poster boy for the company. Swagger has the makings to become a phenomenal WWE Champion because he's the complete package: a larger-than-life persona and the technical skills to back it up. The match was great because Jack Swagger made it great, but again, the best man must fall in order to fuel the passion of John Cena.

Eve finds her man. Since coming over to RAW as a result of the Tri-Branded Divas Trade, WWE has been trying to administer Eve Torres in a valet role. At first, a short stint started between The Miz and Jack Swagger over the United States Title and Eve's affection; but after Miz won the title, the angle was dropped and Eve remained single. Then Chris Masters returned to the WWE, undergoing a babyface turn when he instilled the dancing pectorals as part of his gimmick. Along with the turn, Chris Masters practices chivalry, especially when it comes to protecting Eve from the likes of Chavo Guerrero and Carlito. The match between Carlito and Chris Masters was not about Carlito's past aggressions with Masters, but his disrespect towards Eve. Carlito was able to avoid the first Master Lock attempt, but the second one rendered him unconscious. After the match, Eve pulled out a mistletoe and gave Masters a kiss, starting a relationship. As romantic as this angle is, unless Masters trains Eve to be a better wrestler, she benefits nothing from this story line.

"What's underneath the ring, Shawn?" Many mysteries remain unsolved in the WWE, such as: "Where is Parts Unknown?" and "Why the Gobbledy Gooker?" But the most mysterious one of all is the space underneath the ring, what's really down there? Finally, it was revealed on Monday Night RAW when DX went to Little People's Court. In the past, Hornswoggle had hidden under the ring to escape opponents; The Bella Twins hid in order to alternate during singles matches; The Boogeyman lurked in the shadows to trap victims; and, followed by flames, The Undertaker chokeslammed Edge straight through the mat, implying hell resides below the squared circle. Shwan and Triple H traveled underneath the ring to find an underground passage, alike basements in any building, and went to a court hearing where they were found guilty for intentional infliction of emotional distress towards Hornswoggle. And now a new mystery has arisen, why cannot the little people in WWE speak?

John Cena overshadows WWE Champion? Unlike other superstars who demand championship matches, Montel Vontavious Porter preferred to earn his by taking on the Celtic Warrior in one-on-one competition. At any rate, Sheamus vs. MVP could have been a great follow up to Swagger and Cena, but the match turned into an exhibition of Sheamus' intense capacity in the ring. With an impressive array of finishers, The Celtic Warrior will make a fine head liner someday, considering that it hasn't occurred yet. Albeit, John Cena is no longer the champion, but his standing in the WWE far surpasses that of the company's main champion. Even looking at the Royal Rumble poster, John Cena is at the head of the line while Sheamus is #13 down the row.

The Miz that stole Christmas. 2009 has been an overall great year for The Miz from being part of one of the greatest tag teams and holding both WWE and World Tag Team Titles... Being drafted over to RAW... Entering a feud with John Cena... Losing a match causing him to be banned from RAW... Winning a contract back to RAW as the Calgary Kid... Revamping his attitude and wrestling gear, and now... The United States Champion. However, it's not enough for the Miz because he also wants to be the WWE Champion. The following match was The Miz vs. Santino Clause. Santino Marella, chosing to fight in his Santa garb, lost miserably to The Miz, who picked up the win with the Skull Crushing Finale.

One wish to rule them all... Johnny Damon promised that one wish would be granted and so far that hadn't happened, but could the Big Show get his wish? Calling out for the real Santa Clause, Big Show looked on as Santa Clause came, accompanied by the Bella Twins, to the ring willing to grant one wish. Big Show wished for Chris Jericho to come back to RAW, and Santa agreed. But before the fans could bring back their RAW is Jericho signs, Hornswoggle demasked Father Christmas to reveal Chris Jericho. If that were not enough, Hornswoggle rallied a miniature DX army of little people to take down Jericho. But before Jericho could fully clear the DX elves, the real DX disposed of Jeri-Show. Seeing as Jericho was Santa Clause, he has no power to reinstate himself as an agent of RAW, so Show's wish was nullified. As for Hornswoggle and DX's court issues, Triple H propositioned a deal: If Hornswoggle would drop the law suit, then he can be the faction's mascot. Hornswoggle agreed and initiated in his first official DX Crotch Chopping pyro routine.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!

WWE RAW Presnts The Slammy's 2009; Shawn Michaels Challenges Undertaker One-More -Time at WrestleMania; Bret Hart to Host RAW?

The Slammy Award for "Tag Team of the Year" presented by R-Truth and Jillian Hall. The nominees are: The New Unified Tag Team Champions, D-Generation X; The Former Unified Tag Team Champions, Jeri-Show; Legacy's Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase; or The Hart Dynasty's Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith. And the winner: Jeri-Show! Chris Jericho thanks his former tag team partner Edge for "selfishly" stepping down as his tag team partner, and he thanks himself, because he was smart enough to chose the Big Show as his partner. Chris Jericho challenges DX for the Unified Tag Team Titles as part of their rematch clause.

First Match: Christian, Kane and The Great Khali vs. The Ruthless Roundtable. ECW's lowest rated faction, The Ruthless Roundtable, boast about being the most dominate team in the WWE. What has The Roundtable done? William Regal has failed to capture the ECW Title on three separate occasions; and Kozlov and Jackson cannot even get along, let alone get in line for a tag team title opportunity. The reigning ECW Champion, Christian challenged the Roundtable to a match with two monsters of his own: Kane and The Great Khali. The Punjabi Playboy was on a long leave of absence since Kane destroyed him. How do they patch that bit of grudge history? Well, it's WWE: the moto is not show something long enough and hopefully the fans will forget. Unfortunately for them, I don't forget. Christian made very few tag-ins to the match - do you blame him, he was part of a ladder match just 24 hours ago. The monsters mostly dominated the match, with Khali getting the win over Kozlov with the Punjabi Plunge. They really don't know what to do with these once unstoppable monsters, do they? Also note, that each of these competitors have been a member of the ECW brand at least once within the past 3 years.

The Slammy Award for "Breakout Star of The Year" presented by SmackDown GM, Teddy Long and ECW GM, Tiffany. The nominees are: The New Intercontinental Champion, Drew McIntyre; Abraham Washington; Yoshi Tatsu; or The New WWE Champion, Sheamus. And the winner: The Celtic Warrior, The New WWE Champion, Sheamus! He walked in, with his newly won WWE Championship around his waist, staring down the WWE Universe with a smile on his face because no one believed that he could do it, "Do you take me seriously now?"

Second Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes. You can see the damage Randy Orton's punt inflicted on Kofi Kingston, as he now walks around with a target on his left shoulder. It's amazing the agility that Kofi posses even after being punted in the armpit, a move that has sidelined many superstars for months. Cody Rhodes kept his focus on the left shoulder, but the match was broken up by Ted DiBiase. Evan Bourne came to the aid of Kofi Kingston.

And The Slammy for "Greatest Decision by a RAW Guest Host" invented, presented, and accepted by Dennis Miller. Dennis Miller restarted the match as a tag team match.

Second Match (Restarted): Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne vs. Legacy. Remember, both Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne got their start on ECW, before being drafted to Monday Nights. Not much has been down with Bourne since, unless you count the successful job he's doing at... well, jobbing. Kofi kept DiBiase distracted outside, while Bourne was left with the son of "The American Dream." With the distraction from the outside, Rhodes attempted to go for Cross-Rhodes, but it was countered. Yet, not for one second did I believe Bourne would get the upset, why? Because Bourne is happy just competing in the WWE, so for the rest who are actually their to rise to the top of the mountain, Cody connected with Cross-Rhodes to end the match.

The Slammy Award for "Shocker of the Year" presented by Vickie Guerrero and Santino Marella. The nominees are: Batista turns on Rey Mysterio at WWE Bragging Rights; Randy Orton DDT's Stephanie McMahon and kisses her as Triple H is forced to watch; CM Punk defeats Jeff Hardy in a Steel Cage Match, forcing Jeff to leave the WWE; or Sheamus slams RAW Guest Host Mark Cuban through a table. The winner is: CM Punk for defeating Jeff Hardy.

First Superstar of the Year Tournament Match: John Cena vs. CM Punk. Last year, CM Punk won the Slammy for OMG! Moment of the Year, for cashing in his first MitB on Edge to win his first World Heavyweight Championship - oh, how things have changed in a year. CM Punk is now being awarded for getting rid of the Charismatic Enigma, or Enabler, and has also taken on a cult leader persona. CM Punk, not only turns away from alcohol and drugs, he also seems to be afraid of a razor. The man is pulling a wise prophet look, possibly a false prophet? This is the second time that Cena and Punk duke it out, the first being on the 3-hour RAW Thanksgiving - seems to be a trend, no? John Cena won the match with his second attempt at the STF, forcing Punk to tap out. Then Cena made a heart-warming speech for some reason, about letting the fans down. Well Cena, you did because you failed to take Sheamus seriously. John Cena may have everyone else fooled, but he prides himself on being the face of the company, and to have a newbie like Sheamus, who has only been there for 6 months! Yes John, there are others out there who have not lost sight of why they are there. John Cena's real regret is forgetting why he's in the WWE. He's lost his competitive edge, accepting wins as if per usual. John Cena also vows to never lose another match until be becomes the WWE Champion again! With a speech like that, how is he not going to defeat Randy Orton? Yes, I knew it since then that Cena would face Randy Orton. WWE would never allow a WrestleMania-caliber match to take place on cable network television.

Second Superstar of the Year Tournament Match: Randy Orton vs. The Undertaker. The legendary Phenom has dominated this business for nearly twenty years. His WrestleMania Streak is unmatched, never to be replicated. The Undertaker is a seven-time, and current, World Champion. The Viper built his reputation of destroying legends, and for creating his own stable of second and third generation superstars known as Legacy. Randy Orton has captured both the illustrious WWE and World Heavyweight Championships on more than one occasion. It is no wonder as to why these two were nominated for Superstar of the Year. But only one can grace the stage and be recognized as the best in the business. Randy Orton is no stranger to the unbelievable energy that Undertaker brings into the ring, being one of the victims of the 17-0 streak, and failing to capture the Undisputed Championship at the start of his career. Undertaker may be undefeated at WrestleMania, but Orton has changed since then and, as we saw, a factor that he did not have back then, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. The Legacy members distracted Taker on the outside, and the Viper struck with an RKO. The finisher along with the distraction resulted in Undertaker being counted out – Randy Orton advances to face off against John Cena. Undertaker, on the other hand, chokeslammed Orton into the middle of the ring; lesson to be learned, don’t screw over The Undertaker.

The Slammy Award for "Best Match of the Year" presented by Triple H. The nominees are: Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker at the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania; John Cena vs. Randy Orton in a "I Quit" Match at Breaking Point; Jeff Hardy vs. Edge in a Ladder Match at Extreme Rules; or Team RAW vs. Team SmackDown at Bragging Rights. The winner is: Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker for their match at WrestleMania! Come on, like any of the other matches paled in comparison? I'm a fan of the Hardy-Edge ladder match, since both are veterans to ladder matches, but nothing can compare to Michaels and Taker. And to throw the Bragging Rights Match, they weren't even trying to pick a match at that point. I'm also a fan of the Orton-Cena rivalry, but the "I Quit" wasn't their best, it was the Iron Man Match! Shawn Michaels accepted the award, noting that he also won the award last year for his WrestleMania match with Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels, knowing that he came up short, also stated a challenge to the Undertaker - WrestleMania, ONE-MORE-TIME! Will we see Michaels-Undertaker at WrestleMania 26? Can they actually recreate a second WrestleMania moment that will live with us forever? If there is a re-match, it is only plausible that Taker's streak would end at 17-1. "It is Hell trying to get to Heaven," those were the words that fueled Shawn in that match, but he didn't exactly reach heaven. In order to end, both Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker, HBK has to win - laying both of these superstars to rest in peace.

Unified Tag Team Championship Match: (C) D-Generation X vs. Jeri-Show. Triple H asks Shawn Michaels to stand behind the referee, and then pushes him over Michaels. The referee called the bell and the match was over. DX lost the match via disqualification, but the titles cannot change hands on a DQ, only by pinfall or submission. What was also a kick in the crotch was that this match was Jericho's obligatory rematch clause for the titles and can no longer contend for them, but more strategically, can no longer be on RAW. If there was a Slammy for "Oh, SNAP!" then DX would have gotten it for this moment. Chris Jericho was escorted out of RAW by SmackDown and ECW superstars all dressed in DX garb. Goodbye, Chris Jericho, the RAW ratings will sure miss you.

The Slammy Award for "RAW Guest Host of the Year" presented by The Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The nominees are: Bob Barker, Seth Green, Shaquille O'Neal, or Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. The winner is: Bob Barker! Personally, Ozzy and Sharon were my favorite hosts, I'm still waiting for mid-January to purchase I Am, Ozzy autobiography. And who can forget Seth Green, the first ever RAW Guest Host, and brought the Divas Bikini Blowout Rumble - King's and my dreams came true that night. As for Shaq, he was my least favorite. If Bob Barker was ten years younger, yes, I'm talking about Happy Gilmore Bob Barker, then yes, I would agree on the decision. McMahon asked RAW Guest Host, Dennis Miller on who he thinks should be a future guest host. Miller responded, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. Miller, who has been faltering on his jokes all night, finally had gotten a huge reaction from the RAW audience. McMahon chose not to respond and walked away. Will WWE have Bret Hart guest host on the... well, I dunno, the January 4th episode of RAW, on the same night that Hulk Hogan returns to wrestle on TNA, which moves to live taping on Monday Nights?

The Slammy Award for "Most Extreme Moment of the Year" presented by Carlito, Chris Masters, and Eve Torres. Chris Masters kept interrupting Carltio with his peck dance, which prompted an awesome question from Carlito, "Eve, can you do it as well?" Well, Carlito and the WWE Universe will never know. The nominees are: Kofi Kingston Boom Drops Randy Orton through a table at Madison Square Garden; Big Show throws Cena into a search light at Backlash; Jeff Hardy dives off a 20-foot ladder onto CM Punk at SummerSlam; or Triple H fights Randy Orton at Orton's home, throwing Orton through his front window? And the winner is: Jeff Hardy for diving off a ladder onto CM Punk. Accepting on behalf of Jeffro is his brother, Matthew Moore Hardy. This marks the second year in a row that Jeff Hardy wins the Extreme Moment of the Year, the first being diving off the RAW set 30-feet in the air onto Randy Orton. Jeff Hardy watched the RAW action as he noted on his twitter account "Love & miss You WWE universe.... thanx." My response, "We effin' love you Jeff Hardy! You are not only a 3x World Champion but a 2x Slammy Award winner for Extreme Moment 08-09!!!"

Fifth Match: John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu, and Mark Henry vs. Drew McIntyre, Zack Ryder, and The Miz. Not only is The Miz the United States Champion, but Drew McIntyre is now the Intercontinental Champion. How does it feel for a team comprised of championless superstars going against a team with two? Well, obviously the one without the title will be the one that loses it for his team mates. When Zack Ryder was tagged in, he had the choice of facing Morrison, but he decided on Yoshi Tatsu instead. Well, Tatsu dropped the enziguri kick to win it for their team. Yoshi gets a push on his only night on RAW, good for the happy Japanese man!

The Slammy Award for "Oh My! Moment of the Year" presented by Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas, and Big Dick Johnson. The nominees are: Shawn Michaels superkicks little girl in cafeteria (Monday Night Raw, August); Chris Masters “dancing pecs” with the Osbournes on "Raw's Got Talent;" Michael Cole throws up on Chris Jericho at SD party (Decade of SmackDown special); or Santino Marella accidentally pies Vickie Guerrero in the face (Raw Thanksgiving). The winner is: Michael Cole for upchucking on Jericho! Michael Cole acted like he won the World Series or WrestleMania as he ran up the aisle to accept his award. He thanked his mentor J.R. who is still recovering from his 3rd Palsy attack.

Divas Tag Team Match: Mickie James, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, The Bella Twins, and Melina vs. Michelle McCool, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Maryse, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, and Layla. All the Divas were dressed in evening gowns, how were they expected to compete? Well, all you need is two Divas who were dressed in movable clothing: Mickie James and Rosa will do seeing as they started and closed the match. Mickie gets the pin with the Mick-DDT. Congrats on that pointless filler Divas' match.

The Slammy Award for "Diva of the Year" presented by MVP and Goldust. The nominess are: every Diva! The winner is: Maria! This Slammy was supposedly voted upon by the WWE Universe on WWE.com, but what happened next seemed more than likely that it was staged. Maria accepted her award and thanked all the WWE Universe for believing in her - Then Batista interrupted, and spoke about Screw Job of the Year, and it goes to him because Teddy Long screwed him over in his match with The Undertaker. Batista kept saying, it's not about her, its about me! I was dying, the obvious pun at Taylor Swift and Kanye West definitely got some cool points with me. Some people were upset over Maria winning the Slammy, but in all reality it was a gag. Do we not remember the Miss WrestleMania Award won by Santino Marella, or Santina? WWE uses Divas as part of gags about 90% of the time.

The Final Superstar of the Year Match: John Cena vs. Randy Orton. The match was a bit of a let down, but exciting nevertheless. The Orton-Cena feud has been ‘the feud’ of recent WWE history. The feud started in late 2007, as Orton set to rid Cena of his one-year reign as WWE Champion and looked to establish the Age of Orton. Then, in 2008, Orton punted Cena’s father. And then, in 2009, the war raged on in singles, “I Quit,” Hell in a Cell, and, to finally end it all, a One-hour “Anything Goes” Iron Man match. “I Quit” was nominated for match of the year, how about that Iron Man match? Their final match was so entertaining, and the story they told in that match… so you see where this match was a treat, but it was also a disappointment. Cena connected with the Attitude Adjuster, but Orton landed himself near the ropes in order to break the 3-count. Yet a second Attitude was used to secure the win.

The Slammy Award for “Superstar of the Year” won through a tournament. The nominees are: CM Punk, The Undertaker, Randy Orton, and John Cena. The winner, by two hard fought matches, is: John Cena. The former WWE Champion vows to never lose a match until he becomes Champion once more; and that WrestleMania season, for him, starts right now.

Sheamus Finds Third Table Guest; Chris Masters Turns Babyface; Orton-Kingston PPV Match Revealed

First Match: John Cena vs. Carlito. Really?? First off, these two had a history. Carlito defeated John Cena for the United States Title when he first arrived in the WWE. And how interesting to see how much success one has while the other became not so successful. Last week, Carlito stated that the locker rooms are filled with people who cannot stand John Cena and wishes Sheamus all the luck in defeating him at the TLC ppv; Lawler tried to erase that comment by commenting that Carlito was only talking about himself, while reaffirming Cena's position in the WWE. John Cena may be a nice guy, but there is no doubt that what Carlito claimed does not have a large kernal of truth embedded somewhere. John Cena is the top of the business and always will be, you cannot say that people are happy about that. Word has it that Charlie Haas wanted his release from the WWE over not being used, but instead WWE gave him a raise to keep him away from rival TNA. People like Haas will never get a world title shot as long as Cena is the peak of Sports Entertainment. Sheamus, who is leading the revolution, came to interfere with the match, but was ejected from the ring by Mark Cuban's security team. Then Carlito "took advantage" while Cena was distracted. Well, the match never stopped, so that would be Cena's fault for taking his eyes off of his opponent. But, as usual, Cena ended it quick with a firearm carry followed by his U Can't C Me hand gesture, finished off with the attitude adjuster. What a slap in the face to Carlito, and they wonder why people can't stand The Champ.

Second Match: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase vs. Evan Bourne and Primo. Mark Cuban was unwilling to accept Rhodes' request for a match, seeing as if Rhodes would have won, then the ban, restricting Orton to face Cena for the WWE Title, would be lifted. Instead, Cuban announced that Legacy would be in action immediately, while Orton would face Kofi one-on-one with him as the special guest referee. Michael Cole mentioned that Mark Cuban watched WWE Superstars because this was a rematch from last Thursday, when we all know Cuban had no clue who Legacy would face, "Don't you have a match now? Go!" The match was decent, not as great as last Thursday, but it still had its moments. Again, Bourne is the strongest member of the team, but once again Primo did not concentrate on the match costing Bourne to be pinned by Dream Street. It's interesting that Primo is the weakest link seeing as he was the first ever Unified Tag Team Champion alongside his brother Carlito. But, Primo is also the one that cost them from recapturing their titles against Edge and Jericho. Bourne would be well advised to find another partner. Legacy didn't have much time to celebrate their win since they were ejected from the Airlines Arena by Cuban's team of security guards; thus, insuring that Legacy would not interfere in Orton's match.

Third Match: Gail Kim vs. Maryse. Kelly Kelly was the special guest ring announcer for the match, a little rough around the edges but makes a formidable announcer. Gail Kim was fluid in her motions and carried the entire match; and when I say entire, I mean Gail executed every offense within the match. Seeing as Gail Kim is a former Women's Champion prior to the decline of women's wrestling, I would expect Gail to be in the title picture. But one swift kick to the back of the knee dropped Gail on her back. And Maryse, with the assist from the ropes, covered Gail for the win. Mark Cuban was right, the WWE referees are worse than the NBA, how do you not see that! Kelly Kelly announced Maryse as the winner with very little enthusiasm, but Maryse demanded that she'd be recognized as the next Divas' Champion. Refusal to adhere to her request led to a beat down, followed by a rescue from current Divas' Champion, Melina. So far, SmackDown has the better Divas storyline.

Fourth Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Orton w/Special Guest Referee, Mark Cuban. Randy Orton won his match last week thanks to the blatant assault that occurred prior to the match. The referee allowed the match to go one, despite seeing Kofi assaulted by both members of Legacy, which is one of the reasons Cuban opted to be the referee for this match. The second reason would become clear after the match. Cuban, much like Stone Cold at Cyber Sunday 2007, allowed pretty much anything to go down. Orton attempted an RKO, but was countered into a backslide, which would not normally win a match, but Cuban's fast 3-count ended the match. Oh yeah, that's the second reason. In 2003, at the Survivor Series, Randy Orton RKO'ed Mark Cuban, so after 6 years, he has gotten his revenge on Orton. And seeing as each one has a win over the other, at TLC, Randy Orton will face off against Kofi Kingston one more time.

At TLC PPV: Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston.

United States Title Match: (C) The Miz vs. Mark Henry. Resulting from last week's win, Mark Henry was granted a title match against The Miz. Sadly, the WWE showed a video recap of Verne Troyer celebrating with Mark Henry and the Divas, which was a pathetically low point in last week's show. The Miz has defeated MVP, so how would he fare against the World's Strongest Man? Well, it helps when the strongest man is also the slowest man. Mark Henry obviously doesn't work out like he use to, and his two knee braces are indications that his body mass is getting to him. The Miz utilized his agility and his hunger to remain a champion to retain his title. It almost looked as if Mark Henry would capture the U.S. Title as he had Miz positioned for the World's Strongest Slam, but it was countered into a DDT. Beautifully done Miz, I saw the DDT coming and it was worth it.

Mixed Gendered Tag Team Match: Hornswoggle and Eve vs. Chavo Guerrero and Jillian. Billed as a mixed gendered tag team match was actually disguised as a second divas match. Hornswoggle, who now sports a self-made DX-Hornswoggle t-shirt, which is also available at WWEShop.com, started the match. Hornswoggle is just as bad as DX with his self merchandise promoting. Hornswoggle started the match, but then quickly tagged himself out, so that Eve and Jillian would fight. The team of Eve and Hornswoggle doesn't surprise me seeing as they travel together and twitter one another on the road. Eve is still rusty, but she is starting to look more like a wrestler. She doesn't bother dressing sexy to the ring, but wears lady trunks to her matches. She pinned the former Divas' Champion with a rolling senton. Chavo then started pushing around Hornswoggle, a little pay back for all the countless times Hornswoggle one-uped the Warrior. Side note, I miss JBL's commentating, "The name Guerrero, it means Warrior!" Eve then took a firm stance before Chavo, which really got the crowd moving. It's nice to have a woman not afraid to confront a guy. Yet, Chavo wasn't shy about shoving Eve out of his way to get to Hornswoggle, so cue in Chris Masters. Ever since his peck dance when Ozzy hosted, WWE has been pushing Masters as a babyface during house shows to see how the crowd would respond. I'm guessing that it went over big, seeing as the audience were for Masters scaring Chavo with his dancing man pecks, followed by a Masterlock powerslam. Then a love interested bloomed as Masters told Guerrero that he better not dare touch Eve. Let's see if this love story with Eve sticks, unlike the short-lived love triangle between Swagger and Miz.

2-0n-1 Handicap Match: DX vs. Chris Jericho. Chris Jericho made another great promo, stating that Jericho is greater than RAW and SmackDown, that he transcends all of the WWE. A man of his calibur knows no boundaires and he can do whatever he likes. DX's strategy was to make frequent tags, trying to keep Jericho in the corner. A lot of good that did seeing as Jericho knocked the referee into Triple H, which apparently means that the ref is knocked out for the remainder of the match, and the Big Show appeared. How did we not see that one coming? Then, Tables, Ladders, and Chairs came into play, leaving DX destroyed. Chris Jericho set up the ladder and symbolically climbed to the top hositing the Unified Tag Team Titles in the air. Was this truly Jericho's final night on RAW, or will he be back next week?

WWE TLC ShowDown: Mark Cuban set up this Q&A session between Sheamus and WWE Champion, John Cena for further build up to their Tables Match this Sunday. It would have been wise for Sheamus to have actually had a match, instead of being ejected from the ring. But, Sheamus spoke of how it took Cena three years to become the WWE Champion, while it will only take him a few months. John Cena states that he is impressed with the Celtic Warrior, but he is not intimidated. Cena has faced off against everyone from the greats, to the one-hit wonders, and that Sheamus won't be any different. I have no doubt in my mind that Sheamus could overpower Cena, but I also foresee John Cena finding the strength deep inside from all his Hulkamaniacs... I mean Cenation and put Sheamus through a table. Sheamus delivered two boots to Cena's face and shoved Cuban around. Mark Cuban was all big and tough earlier when he had a whole security team at the snap of his command, but what happens when its just you starring at a man like Sheamus, a man who retired Jamie Noble? Well... Sheamus propted a table on one corner of the ring and rammed Cuban through the table. Unlike Ben Roethlisberger, who had his whole defensive line to protect him, Cuban's Dallas Mavericks were of no help. Overall, Sheamus is indeed ready to face off against John Cena, but all things considered, Cena will be Sheamus first real challenge since Shelton Benjamin. Will the revolution come full circle with a new WWE Champion, or will The Champ Still be Here?

Sheamus Gets Locker Room Support; Chris Jericho Leaving RAW?

RAW's Guest Host: Verne Troyer (born January 1, 1969) is an American actor and stunt performer. Troyer is notable for his height of 2 ft 8 in (0.81 m), the result of cartilage–hair hypoplasia dwarfism, making him one of the shortest men in the world. He is best known for playing Mini-Me in the Austin Powers series.

Divas Tag Team Match: Divas' Champion, Melina and Gail Kim vs. Maryse and Jillian Hall. This match focused on Melina's anger towards Maryse's sneek attack last week, who compared the Goobley Gooker construct as a Trojan Horse that Melina should have never encountered. Jillian Hall continues to unimpress the fans with her 'wrestling' abilities. Gail Kim continues to act as a filler, and Maryse proves to be the Hogan of the Diva division, a lot of charisma but only a few set moves. Maryse pinned Melina with the French Kiss (DDT), which will put her in line for a future title shot. Justin Roberts almost goofed by announcing, "And the winners is the Diva... Jillian and Marsye!" Nicely done, Roberts, almost announcing the Divas' Champion.

Second Match?: Sheamus vs. Santino Marella. This was not considered an actual match because the bell never rung to official start the match. The #1 contender for John Cena's WWE Championship came to the ring stating that he demanded respect from John Cena, and after throwing him through a table last week, he has no choice. Sheamus has proven his position as the contender by manhandling John Cena. And in 2 weeks, all Sheamus has to do is throw Cena through a table, once more, to be crowned the WWE Champion. His opponent for the night, Santino Marella, was offended that Sheamus didn't mention him. The Milan Miracle started ribbing Sheamus for being jealous of his skin pigments, being a former 2-time Intercontinental champion, and followed up by calling him a lame ass. It shocked me, as it must have others, for Santino to say 'ass' on a PG rated show; but what happened next seemed like WWE's vengeance on those that cuse, a beat down from the Celtic Warrior. Sheamus knocked Marella out with Ramon's Razor Edge, or Crucifixion Powerbomb. He then set up a table and rammed Santino clean through, very hardcore ECW-style. I had serious doubts about Santino, but if one were to get serious heat, then why not destroy everyone's favorite Italian funny man?

Third Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton. As Kofi came down the ramp, he was attacked by Cody Rhodes, then Irish whipped to the steel steps. Kofi tried selling the hit, but he over sold. I couldn't buy that he was really that beat up by a mere trip to the steps. Plus, you would think that after being attacked by Edge at No Way Out 2009, he would be more aware of ambushes down the ramp? Then, from within the ring, Ted DiBiase attacked Kofi. This was truly upsetting, not because Kofi got beat up, but that Orton still relies on Legacy to fight his battles. Randy Orton is too good to need two lackeys to beat up a superstar just climbing the ranks of super stardom. Kofi still wanted to go through the match and fell to the RKO.

Serious Heat Against John Cena. Cena, being Cena, theatrically expressed the war that Sheamus has just started and demanded to take him on one-on-one for the WWE Championship. The crowd went wild, all the Cenation kids were going nuts, until Carlito appeared. This was the worst return strategy I had ever seen. Everyone had forgotten about Carlito, and to see him back at the pinnacle of Cena's big speech, really brought people down. Carlito has been absent from the WWE since Flyod Mayweather knocked him out in a backstage segment. Carlito expressed how he may not like Sheamus, but everyone, including himself, cannot wait for Cena to lose the WWE Title. And this hatred is not just in the RAW locker room, no, no, it expands to the ECW and SmackDown locker rooms. Why, because John Cena is the face of the company, and others, who will most likely never get a chance, are tired of him being the corporate champion. Future legends, Triple H, The Rock, and Stone Cold were all Corporate Champions at one point in their careers, and John Cena is currently following the same path, not like they will ever label him as such. But The Governor has lit a match within the WWE and the locker room is a blazing forest fire waiting for Sheamus to become Champion. John Cena, before Carlito could spit apple, executed the Attitude Adjuster. This is such a stupid name for the move, seeing as Carlito's, or anyone else's, attitude surely did not change towards Cena.

Fourth Match: Mark Henry vs. The Miz. United States Champion, The Miz ribbed RAW's Guest Host, Verne Troyer, beautifully. He insulted Verne's height, his movie choices, and then imitated Fat Bastard, from the Austin Powers series, when Mark Henry walked out. And this is what opened the show to a whole new concept, Where's Henry's Personality? Well, it wasn't in dancing, cause he fell and squashed Jillian Hall. And it's not in rapping, seeing as only a few people started clapping - wow, that rhymed. And as for punishment, Verne set up this match, the only match he called, to get back at Miz for making fun of him and being mean to him. Mark Henry defeated Miz with the World's Strongest Slam. Afterwards, Verne celebrated with the other RAW Divas: Kelly Kelly, Eve, and The Bellas. There was absolutely no pop for this 'celebration.'

Main Event: Triple H vs. Chris Jericho. Have you noticed? DX uses their strongest team member against Jeri-Show's weakest. And what was up with the stipulation? If Triple H lost, next week it would be Jeri-Show vs. Triple H in a handicap match; but, if Jericho lost, it would then be DX vs. Chris Jericho in a handicap match. This was a terrible stipulation, why not have Jeri-Show vs. Shawn Michaels, or DX vs. Big Show if either member lost? And as for their match at TLC, DX are not a faction that ever cared about the tag team titles, it was never their M.O. but to pull pranks and sell merchandise. Jeri-Show prides themselves on being the Unified Tag Team Champions, but H makes a point: Chris Jericho is a SmackDown superstar, and once he loses the title, which grants him access to all three shows, will no longer be allowed to appear on RAW. With the referee distracted, Big Show struck Triple H with the K.O. Punch. He was ejected from the arena, followed by Shawn Michaels, who Superkicked Jericho (unknown to the ref of course). Jericho attempted the Codebreaker, counterfed by an attempted Pedigree, which was countered by an attempted Walls of Jericho. The Game managed to kick free and went for the roll up for the win. Seeing as Triple H lost to Jeff Hardy twice with the roll up, seems Triple H has learned to appreciate it. As per the stip, Chris Jericho will face off against DX in a handicap match.

Final Assessment: This was a terrible edition of RAW, I had high hopes that Verne Troyer would not only be the judge in the Little People's Court case involving DX and Hornswoggle, but issue a small people wrestling match. Hornswoggle and Verne had just one vignette of interaction time, which Verne suggested that he should sue DX for all they're worth. The whole Mark Henry personality push was a wasted effort, and a waste of The Miz's talent. MVP is sadly being misused in this tag team. If WWE wants guest hosts, then it is important to choose people who actually will contribute to making the show better.

RAW's Next Host: Mark Cuban

Three Survivor Series Team Elimination Matches Revealed; Streak Broken; Undertaker Scheduled for Next Week

Native English Boxer, Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton hosted RAW in Sheffield, England. Question, didn't WWE already have a boxer as a host? Speaking of Mayweather, Jeri-Show interrupted and Big Show was willing to be the bigger man, quite literally, and allow Hatton the first punch across the jaw. Jericho ceased the exhibition to refrain from another WrestleMania XXIV incident, and to redirect Show's focus to the Triple Threat Match where Jericho assures his 6th title reign.

Let's break it down: Chris Jericho is the best he has ever been. He rejuvenated his career when he turned heel, becoming a multi-time World Heavyweight Champion and beating his own Intercontinental record to 9 reigns. He even jump started Big Show's career by allowing him to become the other half of the Unified Tag Team Champions.

Downside: Jericho has never been in the ring with The Undertaker, until this Friday.

Break it even more: Big Show is in the best shape of his life and is a force to be reckoned with. Jericho calls him the colossal killer, because the force and magnitude... Can anyone last recall when he was pinned? Probably not.

Hatton scheduled a tag team match between Jeri-Show and DX.

First Match: Alicia Fox w/Jillian vs. Kelly Kelly w/Gail Kim. I was actually rooting for Kelly Kelly, the lesser of two evils. These two are so bad, why has WWE gone for far down in quality? Alicia Fox went for the scissors' kick to the back of the head and got Kelly's back instead... I'll say it again, Alicia is horrendous in the ring.

Next week: Melina vs. Alicia Fox (Divas' Title Match)

At the Survivor Series: Mickie James captains the team of Melina, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, and Eve. Michelle McCool captains the opposing team of Beth Phoenix, Jillian, Layla, and Alicia Fox.

Second Match: Sheamus vs. Local. Last week, Sheamus almost killed Jaime Noble, who has retired from professional wrestling. And last night, Sheamus showed no mercy to the local Brit with a crucifixion power slam.

Third Match: Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne. In a backstage interview with The Miz, he talks about being the captain of an elite team of up and comers, and that with his guidance they will win against Morrison's team. Swagger interjected by claiming to be a better suit for the position of captain; he also advised to watch closely to his match against Evan Bourne. Swagger dominated most of the match, until The Miz, making his appearance, distracted him, which allowed for Bourne to pick up the win with The Shooting Star Press. I was disgusted by how WWE executed the end to Swagger's winning streak, it was not believable that Bourne would overcome Swagger so easily. But I sense a future United States Title defense against The All American-American.

At the Survivor Series: The Miz captains the team of Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, and Sheamus. John Morrison captains the opposing team of Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, and Evan Bourne.

MVP’s VIP Lounge: MVP and Mark Henry welcomed their guest and captain of their Survivor Series team, Kofi Kingston. Kofi was praised for standing up against Orton’s tyranny and refusing to be bullied around. Yet, Legacy crashed the VIP Lounge, badmouthing the lounge for its pleather and $50 bottles of champagne. It was basically the rich white kids making fun of the poor minorities, until a fight broke out. Nice segway into our next match.

Fourth Match: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton. The night Mark Henry was drafted from ECW to RAW, through the Trump Trade, he shoved Orton around in a gauntlet match as a testament to what he was capable of. It’s been five months since, and Henry finally gets his one-on-one with Orton. In the match, Henry was fatiguing a lot faster than Orton; I knew that Henry was not in the same shape as he was 10 years ago, but he is out of shape! The people of Britain demanded an RKO and they got it, Orton struck and won the match.

At the Survivor Series: Randy Orton leads Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk, and William Regal. Kofi Kingston will lead the opposing team of MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, and Christian; what is this, The Nation of Domination? Kofi’s team is an all black team with a single Canadian; looks as if Christian is this decade’s Owen Hart.

Fifth Match: Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton vs. Chavo Guerrero (Boxer vs. Wrestler). Really, we chose Chavo to represent professional wrestling? Hatton has won 45 matches, and 32 of them were by KO! Chavo’s record is more like he lost 45 matches, and 32 of them were by leprechaun. Chavo had his split second of grappling Ricky to the ground, but Ricky ended knocking him out. Congrats Hatton, you did something Cedric the Entertainer couldn’t, and that’s beat Chavo Guerrero.

Main Event: DX vs. Jeri-Show. John Cena accompanied King and Cole on commentary, and the three really deciphered the main event matches for the Survivor Series. If DX were to remain together throughout the match, then Cena’s chances of retaining his title would be slim; but if DX split up, a clash of egos would benefit Cena. The main focus was on Shawn Michaels, leading me to wonder if Shawn is being considered for another title reign. Big Show accidentally knocked Jericho out after Michaels avoided the mammoth sized fist. Show froze in disbelief and was knocked over the ropes by Triple H, giving Michaels the cover on Jericho for the win. After the match, the main event for next week was announced, a triple threat match consisting of DX, Jeri-Show, and John Cena and his partner… The Undertaker!

Main Event Announced for Next Week: DX vs. Jeri-Show vs. John Cena and The Undertaker.

Next Week’s Guest Host: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

Side Note: Next week’s RAW will take place at Madison Square Garden and will feature a new RAW theme song by Nickelback called “Burn it to the Ground.”

The Ozzman Cometh to RAW

Monday Night was one crazy train ride as the Prince of Darkness and his Queen shrouded the WWE in darkness. Sharon mentioned that this had not been the first time that Ozzy has been a part of the WWE: a montage shows that Ozzy was at WrestleMania 2 alongside the British Bulldogs, and on SmackDown, back in 2007, performing a single from his Black Rain album. When asked if he remembered, he humorously replied no.

The Ozzfest was interrupted by The Miz, Legacy, and The Big Show, all having qualms about last week: The Miz lost via count out to Evan Bourne due to a distraction; Kofi Kingston ruined DiBiase's gift to Orton; and the Big Show demanded an apology, which Ozzy hysterically did. Show did not mean from Ozzy but from the RAW roster for ganging up on him last week. DX showed up and plugged in Ozzy's new autobiography: I Am Ozzy, in stores early 2010, along with plugging in their own book, The Unauthorized Story of D-Generation X. With the help of DX, 3 matches were set for the night: The Miz vs. Evan Bourne for the United States Title; Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton; and a Triple Threat Match, John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show.

First Match: The Miz defends the U.S. Title against Evan Bourne. After months of jobbing, Evan Bourne has finally been given a title match, after having defeated the Miz last week. Some may say it was a controversial win, but Miz shouldn't have lost his focus and left the ring to deal with Jack Swagger. This match marked Bourne's second title match; the first being for the ECW Title against Matt Hardy. But there are no signs of Miz losing the title anytime soon; there's a better chance of John Morrison losing the Intercontinental title before we see Miz pass the torch. A sure sign that Bourne was going to lose was the extra pause in setting up The Shooting Star Press, allowing Miz enough time to roll out of the way. The Miz retained his title by connecting with The Skull Crushing Finale.

Second Match: Sheamus vs. Jamie Noble. This match was too unbearable to watch. Sheamus said in his pre-match interview that he will end careers, I think he just did. Sheamus connected with The Irish Curse, Jamie's back was contorted on impact. Then he went for the big boot to the side of Nobel's face. The referee ended the match, but Sheamus wouldn't relent. It wasn't until Sheamus connected with a power bomb onto the outside floor, and Noble started crying in pain, that EMT's showed up. I actually liked Jamie Noble's gimmick, he's a funny guy and a great wrestler, and to reduce him to this?

Third Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton. Really? My assumptions were realized as I saw these two go at it; Randy Orton has gone toe-to-toe with the likes of John Cena and Triple H, who has Kofi ever beaten? These two were seriously mismatched. Yet, it wouldn't be long until the rest of Legacy arrived.

Third Match (Restarted): Kofi Kingston, MVP and WSM vs. Legacy. The tag team of MVP and Mark Henry dominated Rhodes and DiBiase last week, but would it happen again now that Orton is in the mix? As you can see, after Hell in a Cell, the feud between Legacy and DX has been dropped. Does this mean Legacy can now start putting people over, or were the writers just bored with the concept? After losing two title matches against Jeri-Show the WWE has shied away from the duo of VIP in any title pictures. The match ended with Mark Henry connecting with The World's Strongest Slam on Cody Rhodes. Kofi may feel that he stood his ground against Randy Orton, but Orton is just too strong.

Segment: Ozzy, Sharon, and The Great Khali judge RAW's Got Talent. Jerry Lawler announced the contestants: Santino Marella; Chris Masters; and a duet between Jillian and Chavo Guerrero. Santino came dressed as Ozzy and his act was biting the head off a Bat... Man figure. He was voted off. Masters did a rendition of Crazy Train with his pecks. His pecks were flexing to the beat of the song, it was mesmorizing. Finally, Chavo and Jillian, mostly Jillian, sang an Ozzy duet. Even Ozzy, who is so burnt from all the drugs in his system throughout the years, hated Jillian's singing. When confronting the Osbournes, Sharon slapped the Spears from Jillian's mouth, and Khali chopped Chavo on the head. And of course, Hornswoggle, dressed as Jack Osbourne, preformed the tadpole splash on Chavo.

Fourth Match: Gail Kim, Eve, Bellas, Kelly Kelly, and Alicia Fox (Battle Royal to determine #1 Contender for Diva's Title). If this is the best that RAW has to offer, then there is a serious problem in the Diva's division. Aside from Gail Kim who is jobbing, all the other girls can't wrestle! The Bellas can be tough, but McMahon just wants them on RAW for their looks. When Eve eliminated both Bellas, there was a shimmer of hope. But it ended up with Kelly Kelly and Alicia feuding. Why in the world would the fate of the match rest with the 2 worst wrestlers in the roster? Alicia won the match, way to go, the only heel in the match, cause that was a hard one to guess...

Alicia Fox is the #1 Contender for Melina's Divas' Title

Main Event: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show. Before the match was a semi-hilarious skit between Cena and DX. Triple H and Shawn Michaels have beaten Cena in singles competition. In turn, John Cena has beaten both of them, each at WrestleMania. Cena even states that they have all beaten each other, which did not sit well with the Bellas overhearing the conversation. Finally, a sexual innuendo! The Triple Threat was really centered on the squabble between Jericho and Show, which resembled Batista and Mysterio's at Bragging Rights. Chris Jericho picked up the win after Show KO Punched Cena in the face, just to show that Big Show determines who wins and who loses. Then Jeri-Show started to apply added punishment with the Walls of Jericho and The Colossal Clutch, until DX, doing commentary with King and Cole, broke it up. However, Michaels also fell to the KO Punch, and Hunter to a head butt and Code Breaker. What will happen at the Survivor Series when The Undertaker gets into the ring with Jeri-Show?

Next Week's Host: Ricky "The Hitman" Hatton